Author: Stefanie

La Vida Cita y La Traileria

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

With that ridiculous sunshine and warm weather out, making the horses drop their hair like there is no tomorrow, ice melting under the frozen poopsicles so I can finally pick up all 43 loads of it out of the fields, new training horses and feet to trim, and riding, riding, riding, I have been a wee bit slack about posting a new blog (as some of my more drill sergeanty type friends have pointed out..hahahaha)
So, since sleep is optional and surely the dogs get enough for all of us, I am going to share a nice little ‘Allow’ story with you. This is Cita. For those who don’t yet know my future diamond, she is 1/2 arab 1/2 Quarter horse, almost 2, and just beginning her next phase of education. And, like most most teenagers (or so I am told) she can have some pretty cheeky moments and others when she is real unsure of herself and runs back to Mommy Indy (much to his dismay, sooooo bad for his Ultra Cool Guy Image!) We have been playing around, refreshing her ground skills, and adding some new ones. Its funny to watch the herd watch us work, they are all so very interested and concerned that I get it right (yeah, no pressure, guys, thanks!) Mostly though, Cita thinks this is pretty ok, and is happy to be growing up and doing big Kid Stuff. I had her out and was brushing the mud off, and attacking her with the spray bottle, trying to squirt Toxic Palomino Death Juice on her...no! Wait! That’s just mane de-tangler! Oh, ok, go ahead……, picking feet (cause that what us Farrier type folks do once every six months, weather they need it or not), and getting in some good positive tying practice. (Oh! remind me to expand ad naseum on tying on day, and I will). And…….one of the all time Favorite things to Avoid Until the VEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRYYYY Last minute…The Trailer!

Happily and (not so) oddly enough, right after my little awareness kick on Allow, I am presented with one of the most triggering of all horsey related situations, designed, not as you may think, too haul your horse around in, but to bring out all the very worst traits and habits and truths in both horse and human. Here we have the opportunity to really get tight and tense, impatient and all pressurey. ” Make the outside uncomfortable, and the inside the good place” ( Make?) how many times have I heard that line? So, here I am standing outside of said aluminum torture chamber on wheels, wondering how this was going to unfold. You see, Cita has no real opinion yet on a trailer (short of when she was 4 months and hauled up here from the island, but two winter’s up here will have frozen that memory outa her head) and is a clean slate. And I sure don’t want to end up ‘making’ the trailer be an issue. So what happened was this. I decided to just allow her to get in the trailer.

Allow her all the time in the world. Allow her to just stand here and fall asleep while I brushed her with her nose in the trailer. Allow her to check it all out. Allow her to scoot backwards as she made the bum bar rattle. Allow her to paw the ground. Allow her to fall asleep for 5 minutes. (Gee, says human….wonder if I ought to be making (!) her do something now, dozing can’t be getting us closer to in…hmmmmm I should be doing something…hmmmm). Allow her to put a foot in and bring it out. allow her to go for a short walk around the patio furniture. Allow her to put two feet in. Allow her to rattle the barriers….and NOT come out this time, brave girl. Allow another calm back out and wander around the lawn furniture…… And allow her to just get all the way in, blow and happily take a mouth full of hay, calmly looking back at me standing outside the trailer door. Allow her to calmly BACK out and go for another stroll, and right back in.

Total length of Trailer Loading time? 13 minutes. hmmmmmmmm very interesting. All that was required of me was… presence, patience, softness, awareness, and feel.

I was so curious with MYSELF thru this process, as I wasn’t really sure that she was knowing what I was looking for (duh!) as she seemed almost disinterested, but, oh, she knew! So hard to not want to get in there and get all busy and make (ah) something happen! I also became aware of just how little we need to do to make our requests clear, and how often we screw it all up by just doing TO MUCH! When I asked her to move, I literally lifted my hand an inch, and quit as she went “Yes?’ So everything was just so small and relaxed and low key… what a neat experience, and another level again of just how subtle we can communicate. If we just get out of the way, they find the way we have shown……………easily, calmly, confidently and together we allow one another respect.

The Eclectic Mailman

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog


I read the following Quote on the Eclectic Horseman website forum, and thought to myself, “wow! what a great analogy!” So here it is for your viewing, reading and digesting pleasure.

Basically the question was about a horse that only acknowledged a girl’s presence when she brought food. Now I know that alot of us have established a stronger rapport with our horses, but really…………If you keep this in the back of your mind the next time you haul Blaze out of his field after an insanely busy week or two away at work, and find yourself getting wound up at his disrespectful behavior……………..

“Do you have an acquaintance, maybe your mailman, that you like well enough, but don’t really have much in common with. He’s there to drop your mail off, but whether you talk to him or not, you know he will bring the mail. That’s the extent of your relationship.
 Today he stopped by, came in the house, and said he wanted you to clean out your kitchen cupboards. Oh, and he wasn’t asking, he was telling and ready to back it up with force. And he did get you to do it, and stood there and watched you the whole time., and whacked you when he thought you weren’t cleaning fast enough.
 I bet tomorrow when he pulls up, he has your full attention and focus. Maybe not in a good way!
 Now think of your mare. She is alone. A lot. Now the mailman pulls up, and he has an amazingly interesting puzzle, and he asks if she might help him out with it. They have a great time, her mind is stimulated, she has some laughs with the mailman.
 What do you think her reaction will be tomorrow when he pulls up?
 You can put any spin on it you want. I think we need to be more in a boss type relationship, but we have all had great bosses and not so great bosses. Think about your reaction when a boss you really respected and liked walked up to you.I bet you were not bored or indifferent.

Think about a boss who changed his mind a lot, got overfly upset when you made mistakes, and never said thanks when you did a great job, and was wishy washy in his or her direction? And gave you jobs that were meaningless. Your job was to clean a mirror that was already clean. Wait, only clean the top of the mirror!! No! I mean the bottom half!!
 Think about your reaction to that boss.”

Enough said………..

If you haven’t discovered Eclectic Horseman yet, I highly recommend a subscription.
eclectic-horseman.com


Making Allowances

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized


Its an odd fringe benefit of endlessly picking horse poo, that it becomes a sacred time of meditation and introspection. I suppose its the repetitive action that slows my brain down into this state of contemplation, proving once again how everything we do with horses is Zen and compels us to be in the Now.
The other morning I was reflecting on my life and the inevitable ups and downs and how relationships come and go through our lives, always effecting us, always changing us in varying degrees, when I stumbled upon the words, ‘Make and Allow’. Now this pair of words have been around in my life for sometime now in the context of horses, but I had somehow missed placing the filter over my own life. Hmmmmmmmmm That was a VERY revealing and interesting poo picking morning!

Make and Allow……try this little exercise today…see how often you say/think/use the word make in your life. Become aware of how often we are inclined to want to ‘make’ things happen.. We make the bed, make lunch, make our work on time, make do, make much of the traffic, make plans, make decisions, make the coffee, make sure everyone is ok, make the light, make next years budget, make sense out of the instructions, make up for the day you took off, make copies, make a list,make the feed store on the way home, make sure homework is done, make allowances for, make dinner, make a couple calls, make time for loved ones………..make time for a ride.
Now, I sure noticed a whole lot of ‘make ‘ in my day to day life, and then I like to believe that I am not like that with my horses, but, truly, it begs the question of ‘How could I NOT be with all that make in the rest of my life?’

So I thought and felt about the word ‘Allow’ and tried to come up with my own description of its meaning. For me it has such a potent combination of leadership with permissiveness. There is a sense of willingness to experiment with freedom, but with a connection to responsibility. hmmmmmmmm very interesting! I then tried to see how often I allowed myself during the day….sadly the answer was strong feedback for me and I have begun a shift of perception. Make comes from a base of Force, and Allow from a base of Power…..…Allow has trust in it, trust of self, trust of horse, trust of life, trust of the Universe. Make has control in it, control of self, control of horse, control of life, control of the Universe (hahahaha)

As this whole concept applies to horses, Make and Allow enables me to continue to refine my awareness and response-ability to the slightest try. It allows (!) me to be more forgiving. It allows for greater lateral thinking. It allows for error. It allows for greater self expression and exuberance. It allows for establishing boundaries and clarity of intention. I find as soon as I begin to shift into even the teensiest bit of ‘make’….a fight begins. If I continue along these rigid lines of thinking its ‘my way or the highway’, emotional sweat starts, relaxation is forsaken, tension escalates, learning halts as survival begins to kick in, and ultimately the relationship is damaged. The level of reaction tends to be in equilibrium with the amount of make force applied, but make (!) no mistake, a certain amount of callous will develop, rapport lost. …. Something as simple as not being aware enough to realize that the hoof you wish to pick up is weighted, and you apply more force to ‘make’ Mr. Un-cooperative to pick up his dang foot not only dulls his respect for you, but teaches him that you do not have a clue and simply allowing him the moment to shift his weight allows everyone to be respected and working together….(Thanks for the example, Lauren!)
Some horses, depending upon their innate personality can deal with certain amounts of make and adjust, but I guarantee you that the trust level has been lowered and you are on your way to becoming a tyrant ‘force‘ leader. The horse may have a great deal of respect for you, but it is beginning to blend further into fear, respect’s closest neighbor. The horse is a holistic system, as we all are, and if make goes on long enough, and the horse has learnt how to “wear” the pressure, we begin to see health and/or behavioral issues. Plenty of sore backs, lameness, respiratory issues, cribbing, weaving can likely be traced to tension, fear, uncertainty and lack of trust because they were made to do something they were not comfortable with, confused about, not allowed the time to think about, or given any option for choice.

When we interact with a horse,I believe our goal is Balance, as are most things in life, and I have also discovered that allowing and indicating a thought/direction/movement and shaping it gently, taking what is offered and having the flexibility and imagination necessary to not criticize, to allow a sense of rightness in the horse, they begin to turn more and more loose to use, and allow us to shape their behavior into our goals, as long as they are allowed expression, comfort, freedom, positive responses and respect. As we allow our horses to accept responsibility, and relinquish trying to ‘make’ them, startling things begin to happen to us……………. Just think about allowing a lead change. Allowing a balanced stop. Allowing a horse to tie well. Allowing them to have a good trailering experience. Allow yourselves to experiment. With your selves, your loved ones, the guy in the car cutting you off, your fears, your goals, and of course your horses. Allow yourself to screw up, get it all wrong. Allow your horse to get it wrong, and then allow him the chance to find the right answer and allow him to feel good. Allow forgiveness and humility, allow patience and generosity of time. Allow yourself to be present with your horse. Allow softness, collection and grace………

What on earth do WE have to learn to shift our perceptions and methods to enable this to happen????

How fascinating……..

….My Favorite Part !

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

At five to ten this morning, I honked good-bye to a very dear friend as she got on the bus for home. Becca has become a great source of joy in my life, and I am honored to be a small part of it. She is kinda my pseudo-niece, since I have known her since she was a baby, and her mom is every bit as special to me as well, and it has been such great fun to have had her working with me for the last two summer’s, not to mention incredibly helpful….in so many ways. You see, not only is she a young, gifted horsewoman, truly talented photographer ( most summer pics I have were hers), very self motivated and tireless worker, but she possesses a fine gift for hearing. Now I don’t mean in the normal sense of the word, but in the sense that she has an ability to listen and absorb what is being said. She can then reflect back some very startling truths and perceptions, that apply to life, horses and relationships of all kinds. How this talent for being empathic, thoughtful, caring, wise beyond her years and bright as hell will unfold and develop will be very special I am sure.
So she came up to visit her Merritt home for a few days with my brother, Chris as he came with his Semi to pick up another load of good Interior hay. In December, Chris (in true Big Brother form:) made a special delivery for me. -25 and an impatient horse wrecked havoc on my unassuming wheelbarrow, which had been minding its own business in the doorway, and got shattered into a million small, green plastic splinters. As you can see in the picture, overloaded he wasn’t! I can only imagine what the other truckers said about his ‘payload’, but it’s safe to say he would do about anything for his sister! Course I DID help load 31 odd tons of alfalfa in exchange, so maybe he has this all figured out better then I think……hmmmmmm.

So Becca is one of those people who ‘get’ why this place is so very darn cool….its the Rocks! And the clay banks and the rocks and the sage and the rocks and the river and the rocks……...We had a pathetic covering of snow while she was here…Coast snow, truth be known….:(, but we made the best of it, and got some good riding in. Becca took Ivy for a spin (sorry Lauren…..to bad you couldn’t make it the winter Cowgirl Reunion…..:) and got to experience some foot-stompin’ hair tossin’ cussin’ Ivy-isms…..hahahaha! Helped ride a couple training horses, catch up my training logs, solve the worlds problems, and of course get heaps of attention from her best face lickin’ buddy, Griffy. We finally got over to check out this crazy deserted homestead on the other side of the river, and I decided that it was the most amazing piece of property ever….now how to get it out of the Reserve? The view from the top of the plateau was crazy, seeing the Swimming Hole from a new perspective with the entire valley stretching behind it and slip sliding on the sneaky clay, pushing/dragging/carrying Griffin across the trestle,and then hopping up, down and on Cita’s Back for her third time with a human on her back, all made for a thoroughly well rounded day…….

The dogs are snoring and chasing Dream Rabbits, worn out, but happy from Another grand adventure…….
Exploring new trails….My favorite part!
Having fun with good buddies……My Favorite part!
Riding horses in snow storms…..My favorite part!
Hard/soft Tacos……My favorite part!
no, wait….
Tai peanut noodles with Prawns…..my favorite part!
Long trotting horses out for an hour………..my favorite part!
Looking at dream properties…my favorite part!

Being blessed with the company of great friends, great animals, loving family an amazing job and home?………DEFINITELY my favorite part………:)

Thanks for the Great Visit Bucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!