and its getting closer…….
one more road trip, and its time to blog…..:)
Author: Stefanie
The Look on Their Face
Saturday night I headed to Kamloops to give my good friend Danielle a lesson and have dinner, and since her husband was on a boys ‘road trip’ picking up irrigation pipe, that left us with free rein to talk ceaselessly about horses….alas! 
Dan sent Larry to me a couple years ago as a just backed mature horse ( a woman never tells her real age!). And yes, Larry is a mare and a fairly accurate photo of her is at the top of the page. Well, accurate THEN. As you may be able to tell, Larry was a wee bit, er, suspicious of pretty near everything, especially us vertical beings. Difficult to catch, completely indifferent to any attempt to connect, mentally and emotionally resistant. It took awhile and some real commitment from us humans first, but Larry is a changed girl. I wish I had an operable camera ( hint, hint!) so that I could have captured her expression the last few times I have seen her. Soft, soft, soft. Comes right up to visit. Full on eye contact. Completely engaged, all cylinders firing, hi how are ya doin’. I’m Larry! Dan tells me this is Larry’s new default setting, and we got to visiting about that and she said after our clinic last weekend, that she learnt that the only thing she had to do was figure out how to keep that look on Larry’s face.
To Cool! Wow! Zoowie! and B-I-N-G-O! 
How true is this! Remember horses are our feedback loop, and Dan hit on a clear barometer for herself and her horse and if she keeps this in the back of her mind as she engages with and learns from her girl, she will find her way. THIS will be her teacher, her guide and ‘Feel-meter’. If Larry glazes over, becomes difficult to catch ( and yes folks, that means if you have to look at their bum first!), tilts her head away or up, pins her ears, slashes her tail, crawls her skin…..and that is where it starts.
Even less really. Brace, over or under sensitivity, buck, bolt, cinchy, bad bridler, balker, ‘disrespectful’,blah blah blah blah.
Really! Did any one ever actually take the time, invest their awareness and slow down enough to perceive the creature in front of them? Now, I am not saying we never rattle their cage so to speak, but on the other hand, there we be a whole lot less cage rattlin’ goin’ on if we all slowed down, observed what our actions were doing to cause what reaction in the horse and play around with adjusting them.
I guess here is where I will share my Short Mantra for myself and Lodestar….
Do Less……..Feel More…………Be Conscious. 
What I mean by this is almost without FAIL if something is not working with your equine relationship, the answer it not to do more…..DO LESS. This will mean stopping what is obviously not working and considering the next move.
Notice I did not say think about your next step. I suggest Feeling your way. How would YOU like to be treated in the particular situation?…hmmmmmm. What are you feeling? Chances are pretty good that your horse is feeling the same darn thing. Ask again and FEEL the slightest try and quit. Sometim
es this means for the moment, minute, session, week. Just like they were intelligent beings, they know how to do everything already anyway, its just doing things with us that is the tricky bit……………! If you are in doubt about trusting your feeling on when to quit and was that a small try and when does it get better…….just wait and watch. It does and will, and you will see more and feel more….:) All this becomes easier with desire to see.
Becoming conscious of what our horses are doing really just requires us to want to see it. Slow down and pay attention. Yes that ear flick was because you shifted in the saddle…just imagine what that means! Really! Try quietly, absently shift your weight in the saddle and see what happens where. Anything? Ears, body, tail, nothing? what about a leg on and one off….when you pick the reins off the neck….Now, try Less!
This is perhaps a new skill, or one that can always take more
polishing and, yes with practice it becomes much more second nature and FUN! It certainly leads to more mutual understanding and connection….which leads to greater trust and relaxation…..which leads to deeper relationship and happy horse, happy human…… And the look on their faces tells it all……..
The Muse
There are moments in our lives that are monumental.
Moments when we realize the true meaning of Magic and the miracle of this thing we so casually call life…………
Moments when all we can do is stand in wonder and let ourselves be overcome with emotion….
Moments of pure joy, bliss and peace…..
Moments that become memories eternal and unforgettable, every color, every smell, every word said, every feeling………….
There are moments in our lives we wish would go on forever and ever and ever….
But they don’t.
Which is why now is called the “present”. It is a Gift.
Scratch that favorite itchy spot just a liiiittle longer on your horse……….. That them out for a special walk, just eating that delectable spring grass………… Sit in the field with them allowing them to thoroughly check you out and really be with them…………. Go someplace new and exciting to walk your dog. Buy them that WAY to expensive treat…….Take your Dad a bunch of flowers and a bow of chocolates………..Fix that drippy tap your Mom has been frustrated with for so long, and then sit on her deck in the sun and share a glass of wine with her…….never hurt to bring her flowers either……. Call your Uncle living in Texas………..MAKE time to spend with friends….ok,ok….:) ALLOW yourself time to spend with friends,……and be a friend to yourself……..
Love them deeply, and when it is time……
Let them go.………
This blog is dedicated to Jeanette and Percy.
Thank you for a million treasured moments……….
The Spaces In-between.
In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?…hmmmm. It is now…:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd’s ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram – a kind of consensual reality, if you will.
I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is ‘the spaces in-between…..! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and…… let’s just apply this to our horses, shall we!?
It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation……. and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet ‘them’ one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape…..) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between….. I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening…..h
mmmm And what are we all so much better at?
So………………what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot….and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren’t aware of our ‘busy brain’? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks…:)? And we have the nerve to say….” Oh Blaze just isn’t connecting today!” To what! a static machine…..? There is 
no space for them to be sometimes.
I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That’s where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.
Allow me to expand a bit…..The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens…:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us…it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren ‘hit the wall’ with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be…..no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one da
y LF!)
When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to
flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace…..Magic!
Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad…. this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing – try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin’ er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.
I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen……..at least for a few moments a day.