Category: Blog

One Last Time.

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog


Mom…..

Ever since I was elected to write your obituary, I have squirmed under that name. It just makes me cry….

And I just cannot plunk your life in some stereotypical, generic box, some glanced over section in back of the local paper. From the moment you were born on October 12, 1935 to the day you left us on Feb. 22, 2011, you were anything and everything BUT!

One of my favorite things ever was writing you notes that would bring a smile and a lift to the heart…so that is what I am going to do one last time….

You were born to Hans and Elisabeth Wolf in Kassel, Germany on Sat, the 12th of October, 1935. Along with an older brother, Uwe Jens (now living in Alamo, Texas), the family of four survived WW2 in Germany, and immigrated in 1955. What you experienced in those dramatic years growing up, you only shared tiny amounts with us, enduring circumstances we could never imagine. It was the pressure and flame that tempered you into such a strong being, and yet you maintained that indefinable Grace and gentleness…

I remember being told that you had an apprenticeship on a big Oldenburg Stud Farm, and so did not want to move to Canada…we sure are glad you did, though! Raymond, Alberta sugar beet farm was where it all began here, then on to Vancouver and finally Victoria. Working in the Royal Bank as a Teller left you little escape from a devil-may-care deep sea tug sailor by the name of Richard Travers bound and determined to make you his wife. And so he did. On Aug. 16, 1965 you were married, and had us three kids. Chris first, followed quickly by me, Stefanie, and then Colin, every bit as determined as his father, came along as well. The next couple of decades were full! With Pop building houses as fast as you could decorate and landscape them in the South Island and your wish for your own farm finally coming true. With one of the few Commercial Goat Diaries in B.C., you gave us all so much. Some of the fondest memories and deepest friendships have come from your dedication to your dream. Avid supporter of 4-H, exhibitions and fairs (even if you did worry a bit too much sometimes:), raising us kids to have a deep abiding respect for the country life, morals and love of animals. To Chris you gave your crazy work ethic and deep well of care and devotion. To Colin, your dignity, determination and independence helped shape his life.To me, well, sometimes to your dismay, I took your love of animals to the next level, and certainly did with the horses. Your support, patience and interest allowed me to fully realize my hearts desire. Teaching me to never sell out, never give up my soul. Words will never be enough to Thank You for this very, very special link and gift we share….

Chris, together with Vicki, were the ones who brought you your two wonderful Grandchildren, Christie and Todd; the family still close by in the Cowichan Valley

With your opera’s playing in the barn, hanging baskets galore, those long skirts you adored, your grace, elegance and class that all who knew you admired. Iron lady when you needed to be, sensitive and deeply caring for her family and friends. Watching the farm, your incredible flowers and yard bring you such peace and joy right up to the end was such a thrill.

Sitting on the back deck with coffee and you in the early mornings, the scent of all those spring flowers and our easy conversations is one of my most treasured memories…Fresia’s your favorite flower, coffee black with a dab of sugar, your Value Village excursions with Shirley and the dogs, Vivaldi and Giselle, Christmas rolladen….and how am I ever to make your special French Toast?. Our shared love for potato pancakes, you cursing the smell in the house for hours after…:) Oh but they were soooooo good.

Watching how Chris and Shirley’s tender care gave us all so much more time, at home where we all wanted you. Even at the very end, mom, you had us all gathered together, our family…..what a gift.

Now, we all know you wanted no ceremony, but we just can’t help having a gathering, at home at 1770 Koksilah Rd., on the Saturday, the 26th of March.…It’ll be spring then, and some time will have passed, so we can maybe smile again and remember the joy with a little less of the ache of losing you. Nothing fancy, I promise, but you touched so many lives we would love to share.

I love you so much, Mom….for Everything….Thank You.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left. ~ Mary Frye

I have been overwhelmed with all your gentle words shoulders- to- lean on and support for myself and my family over the last few months, weeks and especially days……a Million Thank Yous and Hugs….:) I couldn’t have done it without you…

Sunday Sermon….

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

“Horses don’t need you. Horses already know how to do everything that they need to do. With the exception of the first day, they can already, walk, trot, canter, gallop, stop, stand still, gait, go forward, back up, move their hindquarters, move their forequarters, side pass, sliding stop, piaffe, passage, round their backs, vertically flex, laterally flex, spin, etc. They were born with lightness in their bodies. So if they can do all of these things without you, what is it exactly that you are trying to ‘train’ them to do? You are both two beings trying to learn together how to communicate. You don’t know more than the horse and you never ever will. So stop trying to train and teach and begin learning together.” ~ Unknown

“For lack of a better word, I’ve taken to calling this the horse’s spirit. The older I get, the more I have come to believe that this aspect of the horse is the most important and the most overlooked.” ~Tom Dorrance

“The soul is the same in all living creatures,although the body of each is different.” ~ Hippocrates

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
~ Henry David Thoreau

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.”
~ Lao Tzu

“Pulling out the chair
Beneath your mind
And watching you fall upon God–” ~ Hafiz


“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ N.D. Walsch

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” ~ Lao Tzu

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ” ~ Michael Jordan

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. ” ~ Lao Tzu

“Ask your question, Stefanie. Feel the answer.

Ask, feel. Ask, feel. Ask, feel. ” ~ Notes from the Universe

Yeah,so? What’s wrong with the floor?
~ Vita Dane-Hickey

Just a bunch of photos from today, and a sprinkling of quotes that I store as I stumble upon their pearls of wisdom in a file I simply call..”Good things to Remember.”

Well, ok. The one above, that I may title…”Danes Hold Furniture Hostage”. That was taken last Saturday, when Vita, Kim and Jordan FINALLY came to visit and boy! Has she grown! 8 monthes and 85 lbs….Thanks for blessing Kimmy and Jord’s life, Vita! 🙂

On the Road Again…

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

…Robert Frost

So, um, yes. That IS the ocean as a matter of fact. As seen through the car deck railing on the Coastal Inspiration ( hmmmm….how appropriate!) the Big Fancy Shmancy new BC Ferry, from Dude Point to Tsawassen, 5:15 boat. On the return trip back home from being with family for a couple days.

Now, while I think its becoming abundantly clear that I am officially no longer an Island Girl…I mean with their complete lack of Sagebrush, Pine trees, snow and bluebird blue sky in winter it does rank Vancouver Island, er, shall we say just a teeny tiny bit less favored on my list of Dream Places to Live…:) However, this simply cannot take away form its own special beauty, smells, sounds, feel and of course where we grow up always holds a tender spot in our hearts. Being with my Mom, Chris, my brilliant older brother, and my Soul Sister Inet (YAY! Dog Talk Walks!:) are all very cherished times when I come back to some deep roots and feel connection with those close and dear. And as much as I am so happy in my true home of (“Why? Its too damn hot and too danm cold, no regular services like internet, Costco, and rain, ((tee-hee!))” the Interior,(( Its the rocks:)), there IS something simply astonishing about when the ocean shows off with the sky, when all that dang moisture mixes with the atmosphere and …Arg!There are just simply tooooooo many semi trucks in the way to take a proper photo while driving and attempting to tell Sage to keep the truck on the road while I’m snapping pictures…OH! oops! Sorry, um, right. Well there sure are some truly beautiful things about EVERYWHERE in this world, aren’t there?
It is also a great opportunity to try to catch up with some of you very patient folks waiting for lessons right now, and I managed to stop in and see Janel and Kestrel’s little guy, Rune. As you may remember, Kestrel is up for refreshing, and her baby Rune is apparently quickly outgrowing any attempts to hide his hide in a blanket (lookin’ a bit Speedo-ish, Janel:). Janel thought to play with liberty a bit, so I started, just explaining a bit about my philosophy on..yep, you guessed it, Less is More, flight zones and balance points, draw (oh treasured draw!) taking space and here’s a surprise…Feel! we switched after a bit, allowing Janel to play with what it all feels like, and experiment with getting feedback from what she was doing. At some point along our time together, we decided it would be cool to have Rune go over the cavelleti….at liberty….hahaha! And so the lesson went , Rune getting up, then coming back to us, him unsure about this odd turn of events, and how the heck did we KNOW!!!( we hide the owners manual deep in an inside pocket)and really starting to stick with both of us at different times well. So there we were chatting away at the far end of the arena, just to the South of Mr. Cavelleti, and for all intents and purposes, ignoring Rune for we were “done”. Not so Rune……
He sniffs the rail, nudges it, paws the ground, scratches on it, trips over it as he noncommittally plays with his plan, ambles over and visits,then goes back to the cavelleti…and steps over. All on his own. Janel and I are standing there in wonderment knowing that our creatures are intelligent, thinking, feeling beings, same as we are, yet somehow astonished when he so clearly KNEW what we were after and was trying to the best of his baby confidence to do for us.He had no lead on him at anytime in this session…
That’s Liberty! That’s connection. That’s try. That’s Awareness. That’s……..well, it was pretty darn cool, and why oh why do we forget they “get” it? Just because we are to dumb to read them doesn’t mean for one second they aren’t reading us at every level, at every second, and it sure causes me to wonder when they don’t do what we we ask….why?

Todays “Deep Thought” Brought to you By Canines Concerned about the Safety Of Driving With Wacky Humans, Ginger Molasses Cookies, and the letter M.

Just Gotta have Faith…..

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do. ~Author Unknown

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right. ~Henry Ford


Every now and then a horse shares with me a powerful lesson, yet another piece of the Grand Puzzle of Life….Ok! Ok! That’s EVERY horse, I know, but this is Quill’s gift to me, and handily enough, my gift back to her… Quill came to me as a ‘Fixer-upper’. She is a sporty model, being Anglo-Arab, a little to touchy on the gas with hair trigger steering responses that could get you in the ditch quick as you like. At 12, she was a bit was rusty in spots and needed some good ole TLC. So, she spent her first couple months gaining some weight, having her teeth done and just hanging out, my time still to occupied with other ‘paying’ customers, and she sat on the back shelf for a bit. Very respectful and easy in the pen, sensible, quiet and a bit shy, great ground manners, every inch a Lady. So it was with curiosity, anticipation and a fairly high level of, er……….assumption, that I brushed her off and prepared to ride. Well………. Well Well Well! She shortened in length to 2 feet, grew in height by 4 feet, sounded like a bull elk, and looked like I had just hit her with the full strength cattle prod; eyes pooped out, skin trembling, legs spread askew, hair all on end. Well, huh! I glanced down to see if I had brought out the Killer, Sabre Toothed Saddle Pad, but noooooooo, it was till on it’s shelf, this was just one of those ordinary, smelly wool pads… And so began a long process of back tracking and simply ( simply!) restarting her from ropes on her body( check), bareback ( Huge fear response, no matter how slow and approachy/retreaty I went, bolting off a constant threat..or ejecting me) , ‘sacking out’ (ok), and back to saddling( same electrified cat response). So. Well. By now, I am seriously scratching my head, as colts are WAY easier then this and this horse was supposed to have been ridden lots, and even if she was green, it ought to be ok by now…..huh, huh, huh. what to do what to do……. Well, Fate took a hold, and she was now living in the Big Herd, and decided that 5 days a week work was getting a bit old, and decided to run around for a spell (sticking her tongue out, waggling her hooves behind her ears I swear:) with no intentions whatsoever of being with me. Very INTERESTING Feedback, very interesting.So after do a splendid job of warming herself up, she finally trots over, and and tie her, brush her, tack her ( electric cat!) and get on.( ever been on and electrified cat….hahahaha!) And this my friends, is really where our tale with the moral begins. What did I do when I climbed on that Grey rocket launcher? I took that energy inside, and took that mecate rope in hand and as the cowboys have been known to say.” Give ‘er a good over an’ under” ( GASP!) and lined her out down the road. And Quill? She just threw down that head and trotted out the prettiest long trot you ever did see, blowing and sneezing, smooth and elastic. Gone the tight balled up tiny steps, crawly skin, and rounded up spine. We had a tremendous ride that first day almost a month ago, and now almost a month later, Quill is finding relaxation with me, confidence in herself and rider and although she is not where I would like yet, the change is significant. You see the interesting thing that happened was a place I think alot of folks get stuck in their journey with horses, especially those who LOVE them…:) As you my have noticed, I am all about the allow, give trust first to gain trust, respect is a two way door, etc. and It all fits in here with Quill’s story.
“Confidence can be a self fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.”

Faith and trust are synonyms of confidence.
What’s perhaps a little different is the order, and being flexible with how we approach things. Its sort of like approaching her fear from the other end, and seing it through to the beginning again. ( That’s the nice thing about not having a ‘program’, I can mess with things to my heart’s content:) You see Quill had no confidence. In Me. In herself. In a mutual relationship. She either had a bad experience/s in the past, was sore ( she had chiro and teeth done, saddle fit checked) or just figured out that if she acted scared, she did not have to engage with folks….and it did not make her feel good to be with us anyway, for her why even want to? Quill had way more Fear then Faith. So, remembering that our horses are never the ones that really chose to be involved with humans and my role in being the leader is to show her what it can feel like, and supporting her with what she needed allowing her to feel basically good about being me. So with all the slow work, all important ‘doing nothing’ , combined with the ground work, it was time to step it up. I had to be the one with Faith enough for both of us. Faith in her ability to trust and Faith in my ability to be a place of comfort, trust relaxation and connection, not to mention stay with her…:) So what happened and still is happening is I am allowing her to build confidence and trust in me by having Alot in her and myself. “Fake it til you make it” so to speak. I am the crutch she needs, and to NOT be there, to Not be focused strong and clear would leave her still lost and scared, feeling she was right and could only depend upon herself. By ALMOST over-exposing her ( and let me tell you, kids, it was a stretch for my confidence!) and really asking a lot of her, emotionally physically and mentally, and being able to be what she needed allowed a huge break thru. By having more Faith then Fear, I was able to ease her over from her place of more Fear then Faith.

In mulling all this over during the last few days, I stumbled upon a terrific saying that said exactly that ( how very odd! *) “Where there is Fear, there is no Faith” Oh BoY! mmmmm yummy! course now I get apply that quote ointment all over my life and horsemanship… And then when I was sitting here compiling my random blathering thoughts for this tale, I found all those great quotes on Confidence and the definition of confidence was a real epiphany for me as well. By the way, when Quill first got the name Quill, Inet thought it was bad…”Like a porcupine quill? Ew! but now, I can see that what it really means is ‘ a very elegant writing tool from the outer wing feather of the swan’ somehow that seems just so appropo… .


Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. ~Author Unknown