Category: Blog

Spanish Monday

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

Monday’s are not known for there stellar qualities as a rule. They tend to suffer from a certain lack of enthusiasm and generally rate fairly low on most people’s “Favorite Day of the Week’ List, so in light of that, felt that it was pretty much my duty to throw some excitement into the most humblest day of the week. Enter……( Ta-da-da da!)…….Espada!
Espada is my 7 yr. Andalusian/ Lusitano mare and to say I adore her would be a gross under-statement. Now just glancing at her portrait at the left to us, one could be deceived into thinking she was…..plain. She has been called a few less then glamorous names,but that is part of the beauty of the Lusitano. Just standin’ around in the field....well one COULD be forgiven to think they were plain, but under saddle? No- one in their right mind would think to call that fabulous bull-fighter, ‘Merlin’ plain! And so it goes with Espada. This is a great shot to see her name sake blaze….a perfect sword, and her battle mare heritage is not far from the surface, that’s for sure. Fierce, brave, crazy sensitive and expressive, she is pure undiluted Latin passion. Espada couldn’t play Poker to save her life (even if she had opossable thumbs)….EVERYTHING is written all over her entire body what she feels and thinks. Just climbing on her back immediately glues a Big Ole Happy grin on my mug….all the flash and dash and skirt-twirling and its like I have a mariachi band following us along.
Does this make her one of the COOLEST ever horses to be with? Well, for me…. Yeah! ‘Spady and me have shared a long, long journey together, and she is truly a gift for me. How she has changed my approach to horses and horsemanship is massive, and I credit her with softening me, the value of non-resistance training…for the human, and of course feel, feel, feel…..sigh!
And today was just another chapter opening up, and I am playing with the incredibly sensitive tuning of our relationship and how vastly my body effects hers…I mean I always try to be aware of what I am doing up there, but this! This is a whole other level again! All we were doing was loose reining it along the top property, and I was steering her with my weight and focus, but if I picked up a soft feel, and played around with the muscles in my back, and tiny hip rotations, shifts in weight…everything changed. Its like having a bio-feedback machine that talks to you about atoms….molecules of change and viola! Oh Boy..this is going to be some kind of learning curve again and ups the level of awareness, responsibility, response- ability, subtly, finesse and ohhhhhh yippe! Part of me can’t wait for spring now to get going in the ring again, and faster work, but of course, everything happens in its perfect place and time and its winter. Ice and slippery ground forces me to stay slow, feel, absorb and integrate and build gradually, getting it right first, fast later. Oh, ok! It just never really ceases to amaze me who aware our horses are. How perceptive to their environment, what they are interacting with, and how they constantly adjust to every new situation. Their sensitivity is awe inspiring……and I have the nerve to believe it is me doing the training?????????????????

“Orville Wright didn’t have a pilot’s license.” Richard Tate

Lodestar……………….

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

  1. a star by which one directs one’s course;
  2. a guiding principle or ideal

The original meaning of lode is “road, way”, a path that leads somewhere. Most often we use today’s word in reference to a guiding principle

1 archaic : a star that leads or guides;

I thought I would share with you how and why I came up with the name Lodestar……….

I have a dream.

And I have had this dream since I was a child, a baby, really. And in this dream, all I do is horses and art. Everything I have ever written about goals, dreams, ‘If I could do Anything”, If I won the lottery, everything has always come back to horses and art. Specifically what…..it mattered not. Sometimes I was drawing, sometimes I was training, sometimes I was healing hurt horses, inside and out, sometimes I was sculpting, sometimes I was riding in competitions, circuses, jumping, sliding, cutting, bareback, in battle, flying, sometimes I was painting, sometimes I was teaching, sometimes I was writing……………..all I know is horses and art.…..horses as art.
I have a very worn out photograph taken on a family road trip thru Merritt when I was 10 or so. It was taken overlooking the Douglas Lake Range, and I swore I would some day live there. 🙂 How actually this whole life has evolved into the creation it has is all quite a mystery to me. Sometimes I was certain I was hopelessly off the path, only to find I was not being true and had to face up and answer to myself. I am still fine-tuning the craft of my life and my belief that it really is all entirely possible.

It Is.



As time passes, and I stand here breathing, seeing, feeling and watching my dream come true I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that 3 years ago when I chose Lodestar as my name, it was because I have acquired another dream. One that has become just as insistent to be expressed and demanding in its presence. And that is to help others to NEVER, EVER, EVER give up on their dreams. Stop hiding them from ourselves, and others, letting them wither and gasp for love and light. Some are so lost deep in their people, that they do not even think they have one, but they do. And……we all really, truly do know what that dream is. Deep inside, we do.Every dream is a gift, a guiding Lodestar to our deepest selves, our true natures, our souls.It is also the thing that we are best equipped to do to give back to others with. Years and years ago I saw this quotation and it has become one of my deep beliefs.

” What we are is God’s Gift to us. What we become is our Gift to God.”

It has become part of my love of my work that I look and listen for peoples Dreams in what they say, do, or not sometimes. Usually it is so clear to me, and I oh so do want to help them believe. Believe they can, Believe they are absolutely perfect to do what it is. Believe anything is possible. Believe in themselves….just BELIEVE. The world is conspiring for us….if we will only just allow it.

I have a very detailed dream actually written down. I have done this a few times, and every time it comes true, but this one is the BIG dream. The no holds barred, no one is looking over my shoulder and saying WHAT!. It is rich, and abundant, daring and full. It is fulfilling and challenging, fun and loving. I want it all, and I want to share it, heal and rejoice with the beauty of life and the crazy, blessed carnival that it is. And I want everyone else to, too. I mean, really……….what have you got to lose?

That’s right…………………………. Everything.

I would like to dedicate this to one of my biggest teachers…..Skip Mia Bar. Mia led down the path of truth and self respect. She taught me about boundaries and knowing. She allowed me to gain confidence in my dreams and supported me even in her death……….. I miss her terribly some days, but her biggest gift of all was how to Let Go.

Thank you, My Mia, my Muse, the guide of my Lodestar…………












Emotional Yoga

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

Today started out weird. You know, one of thooooooosse days! Days when you wonder what you are, what you really know, why the dream means so much, how to make it all make sense and just feeling sorta overwhelmed by it all. You know….one of those days. And so with far to many thoughts spiraling around and around in my noodle, I spend a good chunk of my morning with my new friend, the spade. Now, never underestimate the handiness of a spade when you need to chip half frozen horse poop out of the ice it has become one with and then Mr. Poo Fork is happy to do the scooping once it has become dislodged. Oh! When will it snow again! Winter’s not over by a long shot here, and I muse pensively on the fact that I will soon be going through this icy time again.
Happily, this meditative therapy slows the incessant chatter down in my head somewhat as I grab my friends Carson and Gumby out, and prepare them for what I envision to be an interesting, yet promising ride. I think about what I am planning for this ride as I wait for Gumby to soften and lower his head and accept the bit, deciding on who to ride out, and how best to set it up for all of us to win and gain confidence. Hmmmmmmm Ride Gumby out, pony Carson, switch for the return home. Yep, that’s the ticket.
There are a few things that could be fairly big tests on this sort of an excursion, so allow me a moment to expand. Both of these horses have had prior tendencies to over-react to higher stress intensity situations, one by bolting, the other by bucking. Ponying someone is a trigger still for Gumby, having to deal with another horse’s energy and their pressure that close to him are tough. Also we will be going past a long time fear spot (Land of Horrifying Irrigation Systems). Carson is very, very aware of other horse energy, and this is something for him to be with Gumby’s BIG energy and tension, and they do not really know one another real well. So, I feel they are both ready for this test, and I want them to succeed, gain confidence in themselves and what they can handle, and to know, they have to be exposed.
Out they drive we go, Gum walking out at his crazy fast walk, and Carson has to trot to keep up, immediately setting a tone for the ride, and kicking up the tension. We get past the calves, and I keep feeling for Gum, and he keeps feeling back to me for a moment and two, and then he gets gone again. I am trying to keep Carson in position, jockeying the two two horses around, checking back Gumby, pushing Carson out and back again, and feeling myself get wrapped tighter as well as I try to do too much.

I call a halt, exhale and sit.

Gumby, bless his heart, sighs and waits for me to get my head straight, and I realize, that my first obligation is to him. We are connected, I am riding him, and he needs to be my focus and I need to be with him so he can be with me.

Right. Off we go. Now I am feeling him, moving with him instead of trying to control him, just matching him and gently re-guiding his energy, softly being with just him. And that’s all it took. Yes, he still got a bit rattled by Carson jogging beside him, but he would settle as I asked, and this is simply an ENORMOUS change. previously He would get tighter and tighter wound, more removed from the human, very disconnected and worried. At the Hwy. I stopped again and ended with a lovely series of blows from Gumby, before I hopped off and switched horses around…on to Carson.
Now Carson up to this point has been fairly tense, jogging along and feeling somewhat removed from what the two of us were doing, so I took my time to connect a bit on the ground, asking him to back a step, and soften his head for me, making sure he stood solidly for mounting. As we set off towards home, I knew he had alot to deal with, Gumby’s excess energy fed into him, facing home, 6 horses in the field he has never seen before, and the three dogs crashing down the banks. I can feel his tension; in his skin, through his muscles under me, and in the air around us. So I make sure I am grounded and relaxed, confident in him, and being with him, give a rub and ‘line out my friend, lets go home’……………..and he does. As we near the field of horses, and his attention goes that way, I softly ask him back, and repeat about five times, he sighs and ignores them. Just being aware and gently redirecting before it goes too far is all it took to have him stay with me and avoid a potential situation. The rest of the way in, he is blowing and carrying his head and neck low, and swinging the reins in a great long walk.
My heart swells with pride in my two boys and the absolutely terrific changes they are making, their strength of confidence and trust in one another we have, and their ability to have their emotional elastics stretched and relax again. This was a big emotional test for all of us today, and I realize now that that is what makes us all stronger and more fit. If we did not have these things that come along and test our wills, our inner resources, our faith and trust in self and what is guiding us, we would never grow, never change, never improve……….

I leave you with one of my favorite quotes……..

“We acquire the strength of that which we overcome.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Expectation and the Slippery Slope

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

‘How this week will unfold, who you will become tomorrow – it all boils down to one thing…Expectation. Expectation that’s not followed by action is not expectation… it’s just hoping; and hoping has never achieved very much.’
Yesterday, Carson and I had a great chance to explore Expectation. We had tacked up and headed down the road, thinking we would climb the canyon, and sneak back up on the sunshine. It had been one of those glorious, bluebird sunny days in Merritt, but down along the river valley, the sun gets shy early, but has the nerve to tease us by hanging out on the bluffs and high sage hills. So, not to be out maneuvered by some silly old sneaky winter sun and steep climbs, away we went. Now the ‘Canyon Trail’ as it is affectionately called by me is really a misnomer. There is no trail. But with only sage as undergrowth, and wide spaced pines, who needs a trail? Of course, when I tell you that the canyon is caused by the clay eroding away by our infrequent rains, and is one of my all time favorite features of this place I call home, it should tell you that we were climbing clay. And we have had (clay) unseasonably warm weather for a week now, and all the (clay) snow has been melting, freezing, melting and everything (clay) is generally becoming very un-Merritty mucky (clay). So. happily, we begin our ascent, switchbacking to and(clay) fro, pausing to catch let Carson catch his breathe (clay) and we watch Griffin go by, noticing with a vague curiosity that he is oddly sinking (clay) and having a bit of a tough time gaining altitude (clay). Huh. So up we go….and I bail off the topside as Carson begins his slippery decent, and scrambles to keep the proper side upright…..hmmmmmmmm this is interesting. He had halted his downward ooze and was planted, a leg at each corner facing up and staring at me as if to say….’Well…way to go Hot-Shot! Now what?’ What indeed! So slide down to him, with really no chance of falling as my feet have somehow managed to accumulate 12 lbs of clay(clay) on each boot, so I am firmly anchored, not to mention barely mobile. I snag up his mecate, give him a rub and assess the situation. Now this is where things start to get cool. He is thinking down, I am thinking up, I mean, we are half way up as well as half way down, and there’s sun up there….and better footing in a another 50 ft or so. So. I now have a goal, a planned route and am willing to ask him to trust my judgment again, knowing that if we both do our bit, all will be fine. This is my expectation and I am fully aware that I am asking him to believe in me and vice versa, because if he panics, or chooses his own judgment over mine, it will not turn out as happy. So, I turn, offer a feel a couple times on the line, just getting his nose tipped the right direction and his mind with me and thinking up(she’s nuts, but ok….) and then we leap, slip, grunt, slid and make it to somewhat firmer ground and catch our breathe while I plot out the next portion. And so it goes human leading, using all my best judgment and best ground seeking skills, finding a safe way out of the mess I got us into, and horse following, trusting waiting, following every feel infinitesimally carefully, never crowding me, pausing and resting together. with one last big effort, we top out on the ridge, both of us puffing like steam engines, steam rolling off our backs. I give him a big hug and tell he is AMAZING and definitely a good partner. Whew! What a deal! And what a simply beautiful test of a horse. He was brave, trusting, thinking, feeling for me, calm and patient. All those things that we try so hard to achieve in a safe scenario, often never getting a chance to really test our work. Things like this are what can really give a horse confidence in the human, themselves and they learn they can think through difficult situations, and not panic. HA! And we are basking in the late afternoon sun, on top of the world, both of us soaking up the incredible view.( well, ok, I was actually trying to scrape of half a mountainside of clay (clay) of my boots before climbing back on him while enjoying the view.) Of course the dogs made the top in no time and have come back after chasing whatever it is that Great Danes chase on clay banks, and give us a ‘what took you so long’ and are off again.
And so are we. Carson has a long series of blows, and lines out into a traveling walk, and we explore the top side of the property and on down to the creek which has opened up in the middle, with cracking, thin ice on the edges. Here, my job is to just sit and let him take his time. Have a drink, check it out, test it, and then just casually walk through, ice and all. The rest of the ride is all small ups and downs, through the sage and trees, and the one stony ravine, and back to the road, where I drop down the rope again and woo hoo! I caught Sage! Ok, she managed to get out of the loop before I could dally up, but something tells me that was just as well…….!
Carson today proved to me that he is becoming a Good Using Horse. One that can think in tight situations, stay calm, stay focused, defer to the human and show trust. We had a job to do, a tight spot to get out of, and he came through with flying colors. I am very proud of him, and I think he is proud of himself as well. He certainly gained confidence today, and we both have even higher expectations of we are capable of together……..
Funny thing is, I never doubted that we could sort through the sticky situation, that we had all the skills and abilities necessary and it would all turn out just fine. But I guess that’s the difference between hope and expectation.