Tag: life

The Spaces In-between.

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?…hmmmm. It is now…:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd’s ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram – a kind of consensual reality, if you will.

I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is ‘the spaces in-between…..! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and…… let’s just apply this to our horses, shall we!?

It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation……. and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet ‘them’ one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape…..) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between….. I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening…..hmmmm And what are we all so much better at?

So………………what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot….and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren’t aware of our ‘busy brain’? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks…:)? And we have the nerve to say….” Oh Blaze just isn’t connecting today!” To what! a static machine…..? There is no space for them to be sometimes.

I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That’s where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.

Allow me to expand a bit…..The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens…:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us…it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren ‘hit the wall’ with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be…..no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one day LF!)

When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace…..Magic!

Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad…. this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing – try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin’ er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.

I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen……..at least for a few moments a day.

Why is it ?

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

Why is it that the smallest things are so often the biggest things?

Like the other day with Carson. He spends his day in a (albeit large) paddock or with me, and never really gets to do his crazy leap, buck, fart and gallop madly aboutthat he is famous for. So after we had tacked and gone to the ring, I changed my mind (generally accepted behavior for a girl, after all) and stripped his work clothes off and let him have a good play. Our ring up here is surrounded on all sides by the fields with horses in them, and I was expecting him to go bonkers. Well. He DID run and Piaffe, and prance and visit with everyone quite quickly and then……….he trotted over and put his head on my chest, ignoring all his horsey buddies to be with…..me.
I was wonder struck for a couple reasons. Firstly there was NO bucking, no spirally, twisting, cavorting, just straight running and prancing. And secondly, his desire to be with me was deeply touching. This is a guy who tends towards ‘explosive’ behavior and it just wasn’t there. Very, very interesting….My sense is maybe he is like a kid after school who no longer acts out by spray painting the neighborhood, but just plays hockey with his buddies, and then heads home for dinner on time. Small little thing, but the underlying change in attitude feels huge.

Like when you realize that your horse may not be swishing his tail because he’s being rude, but because maybe YOU are being rude………

Like when regularly worked horses come to be haltered from in the field……

Like when horses sidle on over to you on their own when you get on the mounting block?

Why is it that our horses are such a direct reflexion of us?

Like when we are strugging so hard to figure them out, and why, oh why are they doing something, and how oh how can we change it? Stop, feel and look at what we are doing. Like me and Indy, say are like an old married couple ( sorry to those that are….:) that have spent all that time together and for various reasons are real easy to trigger into less then shall we say optimal behavior. And now that I am trying a different approach in our relationship, and he STILL HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! and I get all triggered back, and and and….oh….geez! What am I feeling…. resentment? ( he should know this by now) what is he feeling ….resentment!(I so DO know this, can we move on now?)hmmmm
What am I feeling?……confusion? ( oh what am I going to do if this doesn’t work, rats I forgot to get dinner out of the freezer, I thought the farrier would be here by now, I wonder if I should go back to the snaffle, oh, there goes Lynne…oh! she’s coming in here…oh dang) What is he feeling? Confusion!( Oh this move again, Hey! there’s Mango!, I think I heard Cita calling, I wonder if she remembered to pick up more hay, hey, who put that pole on the ground under that tree three fields over…)
What are you feeling? Bliss… what is he feeling? Bliss…you are both in the same place at the same time…which is now. hmmmmmm

Like when we can’t get them top pick up that darn right lead for anything and we have a sore back and go to the Chiropractor and he tells us ” Boy, are your hips ever locked up right now!’ ahhhhh

Why is it that whatever we believe to be true is?

Like when we think we are on a true path for ourselves, and feel inner guidance and strength and everything flows smoothly that day, from horses to banking to even smiling through a flat tire…?

Like when we are assailed by self doubt, evil internal tapes full of trapdoor thoughts and we allow others opinions about ourselves matter more then our own do we have terrible timing, rotten feel and inevitably the cheque bounces?( like we are having a terrible time, feel rotten and are emotionally bankrupt)? hmmmm

Why IS it that the littlest things mean the most???????

Like frogs in spring?, Like eating four pounds of hair a day as they drop the winter woolies? Like knowing dear friends feel what you are going through and are just there, having faith, trying to just allow? Like the gentle nuzzle from a horse that has never reached out before? Like just riding like my horse and I are one and allowing it to happen instead of trying to make that shoulder lift up? Like seeing a dog lick a scared, new horse’s nose? Like finding five bucks in the truck and spending it on a super yummy White Spot Milk shake….and sharing with the dogs? Like sitting down for a few minutes with the horses as they chomp away on dinner, the sounds of the gentle mastication of all that hay, slowly turning into tomorrows poo….and they gaze at you out of the sides of their eyes, wondering about you, too?

For those of you that may be wondering about the dull lack of photos….there is apparently a ‘Glitch’ in the system somewhere, but……that would be a small thing as well:)

Lodestar……………….

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

  1. a star by which one directs one’s course;
  2. a guiding principle or ideal

The original meaning of lode is “road, way”, a path that leads somewhere. Most often we use today’s word in reference to a guiding principle

1 archaic : a star that leads or guides;

I thought I would share with you how and why I came up with the name Lodestar……….

I have a dream.

And I have had this dream since I was a child, a baby, really. And in this dream, all I do is horses and art. Everything I have ever written about goals, dreams, ‘If I could do Anything”, If I won the lottery, everything has always come back to horses and art. Specifically what…..it mattered not. Sometimes I was drawing, sometimes I was training, sometimes I was healing hurt horses, inside and out, sometimes I was sculpting, sometimes I was riding in competitions, circuses, jumping, sliding, cutting, bareback, in battle, flying, sometimes I was painting, sometimes I was teaching, sometimes I was writing……………..all I know is horses and art.…..horses as art.
I have a very worn out photograph taken on a family road trip thru Merritt when I was 10 or so. It was taken overlooking the Douglas Lake Range, and I swore I would some day live there. 🙂 How actually this whole life has evolved into the creation it has is all quite a mystery to me. Sometimes I was certain I was hopelessly off the path, only to find I was not being true and had to face up and answer to myself. I am still fine-tuning the craft of my life and my belief that it really is all entirely possible.

It Is.



As time passes, and I stand here breathing, seeing, feeling and watching my dream come true I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that 3 years ago when I chose Lodestar as my name, it was because I have acquired another dream. One that has become just as insistent to be expressed and demanding in its presence. And that is to help others to NEVER, EVER, EVER give up on their dreams. Stop hiding them from ourselves, and others, letting them wither and gasp for love and light. Some are so lost deep in their people, that they do not even think they have one, but they do. And……we all really, truly do know what that dream is. Deep inside, we do.Every dream is a gift, a guiding Lodestar to our deepest selves, our true natures, our souls.It is also the thing that we are best equipped to do to give back to others with. Years and years ago I saw this quotation and it has become one of my deep beliefs.

” What we are is God’s Gift to us. What we become is our Gift to God.”

It has become part of my love of my work that I look and listen for peoples Dreams in what they say, do, or not sometimes. Usually it is so clear to me, and I oh so do want to help them believe. Believe they can, Believe they are absolutely perfect to do what it is. Believe anything is possible. Believe in themselves….just BELIEVE. The world is conspiring for us….if we will only just allow it.

I have a very detailed dream actually written down. I have done this a few times, and every time it comes true, but this one is the BIG dream. The no holds barred, no one is looking over my shoulder and saying WHAT!. It is rich, and abundant, daring and full. It is fulfilling and challenging, fun and loving. I want it all, and I want to share it, heal and rejoice with the beauty of life and the crazy, blessed carnival that it is. And I want everyone else to, too. I mean, really……….what have you got to lose?

That’s right…………………………. Everything.

I would like to dedicate this to one of my biggest teachers…..Skip Mia Bar. Mia led down the path of truth and self respect. She taught me about boundaries and knowing. She allowed me to gain confidence in my dreams and supported me even in her death……….. I miss her terribly some days, but her biggest gift of all was how to Let Go.

Thank you, My Mia, my Muse, the guide of my Lodestar…………












Ivy Kinivy and Rare Indigo

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

Setting time aside for my own horses has become a priority this year, one that has seen marginal success, so it will be hoisted up and over into the New Year. Last Sunday, a close friend and I sat down and shared past goals achieved and not, and set fresh ones out for our next year. I started doing this a few years ago, and get a bigger kick out of it the the Ole Resolution thingy….and has become a marvelous way to actually track my behavior over the previous years and see if I am managing to learn anything…:)
So riding my own horses like they were in Full-time training is a major goal. Treat yourself like the way you treat others…….wait, no. That’s backwards….!
Anyway, in light of that, I saddled up Indy, and ponied Ivy out to the field, and worked one while I tied the other to a very nice Fir tree that volunteered its services. Worked on some walk/canter transitions, backing at greater distances ( 50′ plus), and counter bending. Counter bends! Ah! Poor Indy, he had to think on that one! We are using a new Bosal, a nice 1/2 ” that is actually big enough for his schnozzle….different feel again for both of us. I swap horses around and spend the next 1/2 hour laughing at Ivy, as she stamps her pretty little foot, tosses her hair and says potty words…. In the end, she has earned her Big Girl Badge, and gets to pony Indy home. Of course we take the long way over hill and dale, with the regulation three dogs in tow, and Indy snatching delectable dead weeds as we go…………….

I leave you with these words, from a very wise Shira Tehrani

“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.”