Today started out weird. You know, one of thooooooosse days! Days when you wonder what you are, what you really know, why the dream means so much, how to make it all make sense and just feeling sorta overwhelmed by it all. You know….one of those days. And so with far to many thoughts spiraling around and around in my noodle, I spend a good chunk of my morning with my new friend, the spade. Now, never underestimate the handiness of a spade when you need to chip half frozen horse poop out of the ice it has become one with and then Mr. Poo Fork is happy to do the scooping once it has become dislodged. Oh! When will it snow again! Winter’s not over by a long shot here, and I muse pensively on the fact that I will soon be going through this icy time again.
Happily, this meditative therapy slows the incessant chatter down in my head somewhat as I grab my friends Carson and Gumby out, and prepare them for what I envision to be an interesting, yet promising ride. I think about what I am planning for this ride as I wait for Gumby to soften and lower his head and accept the bit, deciding on who to ride out, and how best to set it up for all of us to win and gain confidence. Hmmmmmmm Ride Gumby out, pony Carson, switch for the return home. Yep, that’s the ticket.
There are a few things that could be fairly big tests on this sort of an excursion, so allow me a moment to expand. Both of these horses have had prior tendencies to over-react to higher stress intensity situations, one by bolting, the other by bucking. Ponying someone is a trigger still for Gumby, having to deal with another horse’s energy and their pressure that close to him are tough. Also we will be going past a long time fear spot (Land of Horrifying Irrigation Systems). Carson is very, very aware of other horse energy, and this is something for him to be with Gumby’s BIG energy and tension, and they do not really know one another real well. So, I feel they are both ready for this
test, and I want them to succeed, gain confidence in themselves and what they can handle, and to know, they have to be exposed.
Out they drive we go, Gum walking out at his crazy fast walk, and Carson has to trot to keep up, immediately setting a tone for the ride, and kicking up the tension. We get past the calves, and I keep feeling for Gum, and he keeps feeling back to me for a moment and two, and then he gets gone again. I am trying to keep Carson in position, jockeying the two two horses around, checking back Gumby, pushing Carson out and back again, and feeling myself get wrapped tighter as well as I try to do too much.
I call a halt, exhale and sit.
Gumby, bless his heart, sighs and waits for me to get my head straight, and I realize, that my first obligation is to him. We are connected, I am riding him, and he needs to be my focus and
I need to be with him so he can be with me.
Right. Off we go. Now I am feeling him, moving with him instead of trying to control him, just matching him and gently re-guiding his energy, softly being with just him. And that’s all it took. Yes, he still got a bit rattled by Carson jogging beside him, but he would settle as I asked, and this is simply an ENORMOUS change. previously He would get tighter and tighter wound, more removed from the human, very disconnected and worried. At the Hwy. I stopped again and ended with a lovely series of blows from Gumby, before I hopped off and switched horses around…on to Carson.
Now Carson up to this point has been fairly tense, jogging along and feeling somewhat removed from what the two of us were doing, so I took my time to connect a bit on the ground, asking him to back a step, and soften his head for me, making sure he stood solidly for mounting. As we set off towards home, I knew he had alot to deal with, Gumby’s excess energy fed into him, facing home, 6 horses in the field he has never seen before, and the three dogs crashing down the banks. I can feel his tension; in his skin, through his muscles under me, and in the air around us. So I make sure I am grounded and relaxed, confident in him, and being with him, give a rub and ‘line out my friend, lets go home’……………..and he does. As we near the field of horses, and his attention goes that way, I softly ask him back, and repeat about five times, he sighs and ignores them. Just being aware and gently redirecting before it goes too far is all it took to have him stay with me and avoid a potential situation. The rest of the way in, he is blowing and carrying his head and neck low, and swinging the reins in a great long walk.
My heart swells with pride in my two boys and the absolutely terrific changes they are making, their strength of confidence and trust in one another we have, and their ability to have their emotional elastics stretched and relax again. This was a big emotional test for all of us today, and I realize now that that is what makes us all stronger and more fit. If we did not have these things that come along and test our wills, our inner resources, our faith and trust in self and what is guiding us, we would never grow, never change, never improve……….
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes……..
“We acquire the strength of that which we overcome.” Ralph Waldo Emerson