Expectation and the Slippery Slope

‘How this week will unfold, who you will become tomorrow – it all boils down to one thing…Expectation. Expectation that’s not followed by action is not expectation… it’s just hoping; and hoping has never achieved very much.’
Yesterday, Carson and I had a great chance to explore Expectation. We had tacked up and headed down the road, thinking we would climb the canyon, and sneak back up on the sunshine. It had been one of those glorious, bluebird sunny days in Merritt, but down along the river valley, the sun gets shy early, but has the nerve to tease us by hanging out on the bluffs and high sage hills. So, not to be out maneuvered by some silly old sneaky winter sun and steep climbs, away we went. Now the ‘Canyon Trail’ as it is affectionately called by me is really a misnomer. There is no trail. But with only sage as undergrowth, and wide spaced pines, who needs a trail? Of course, when I tell you that the canyon is caused by the clay eroding away by our infrequent rains, and is one of my all time favorite features of this place I call home, it should tell you that we were climbing clay. And we have had (clay) unseasonably warm weather for a week now, and all the (clay) snow has been melting, freezing, melting and everything (clay) is generally becoming very un-Merritty mucky (clay). So. happily, we begin our ascent, switchbacking to and(clay) fro, pausing to catch let Carson catch his breathe (clay) and we watch Griffin go by, noticing with a vague curiosity that he is oddly sinking (clay) and having a bit of a tough time gaining altitude (clay). Huh. So up we go….and I bail off the topside as Carson begins his slippery decent, and scrambles to keep the proper side upright…..hmmmmmmmm this is interesting. He had halted his downward ooze and was planted, a leg at each corner facing up and staring at me as if to say….’Well…way to go Hot-Shot! Now what?’ What indeed! So slide down to him, with really no chance of falling as my feet have somehow managed to accumulate 12 lbs of clay(clay) on each boot, so I am firmly anchored, not to mention barely mobile. I snag up his mecate, give him a rub and assess the situation. Now this is where things start to get cool. He is thinking down, I am thinking up, I mean, we are half way up as well as half way down, and there’s sun up there….and better footing in a another 50 ft or so. So. I now have a goal, a planned route and am willing to ask him to trust my judgment again, knowing that if we both do our bit, all will be fine. This is my expectation and I am fully aware that I am asking him to believe in me and vice versa, because if he panics, or chooses his own judgment over mine, it will not turn out as happy. So, I turn, offer a feel a couple times on the line, just getting his nose tipped the right direction and his mind with me and thinking up(she’s nuts, but ok….) and then we leap, slip, grunt, slid and make it to somewhat firmer ground and catch our breathe while I plot out the next portion. And so it goes human leading, using all my best judgment and best ground seeking skills, finding a safe way out of the mess I got us into, and horse following, trusting waiting, following every feel infinitesimally carefully, never crowding me, pausing and resting together. with one last big effort, we top out on the ridge, both of us puffing like steam engines, steam rolling off our backs. I give him a big hug and tell he is AMAZING and definitely a good partner. Whew! What a deal! And what a simply beautiful test of a horse. He was brave, trusting, thinking, feeling for me, calm and patient. All those things that we try so hard to achieve in a safe scenario, often never getting a chance to really test our work. Things like this are what can really give a horse confidence in the human, themselves and they learn they can think through difficult situations, and not panic. HA! And we are basking in the late afternoon sun, on top of the world, both of us soaking up the incredible view.( well, ok, I was actually trying to scrape of half a mountainside of clay (clay) of my boots before climbing back on him while enjoying the view.) Of course the dogs made the top in no time and have come back after chasing whatever it is that Great Danes chase on clay banks, and give us a ‘what took you so long’ and are off again.
And so are we. Carson has a long series of blows, and lines out into a traveling walk, and we explore the top side of the property and on down to the creek which has opened up in
the middle, with cracking, thin ice on the edges. Here, my job is to just sit and let him take his time. Have a drink, check it out, test it, and then just casually walk through, ice and all. The rest of the ride is all small ups and downs, through the sage and trees, and the one stony ravine, and back to the road, where I drop down the rope again and woo hoo! I caught Sage! Ok, she managed to get out of the loop before I could dally up, but something tells me that was just as well…….!
Carson today proved to me that he is becoming a Good Using Horse. One that can think in tight situations, stay calm, stay focused, defer to the human and show trust. We had a job to do, a tight spot to get out of, and he came through with flying colors. I am very proud of him, and I think he is proud of himself as well. He certainly gained confidence today, and we both have even higher expectations of we are capable of together……..
Funny thing is, I never doubted that we could sort through the sticky situation, that we had all the skills and abilities necessary and it would all turn out just fine. But I guess that’s the difference between hope and expectation.

Gift Horse…..


Meet Gumby…..He is Jeanne’s (and my!) special boy, Belgium/Mustang and every inch of this gentle, furry creature is pure Feel education. This guy cannot be ‘made’ to do anything….just try, and see where it would get you….mowed over, flattened, run away with, maimed and/or killed. Dramatic? No, not really. At 8, Gumby was wild for too long to not have huge survival mechanisms in place, and not at all interested in just handing his life over to us humans. His Brother Nash is up here as well now, and he is a completely different kettle of sardines….yep, he is juuuuuuust fine with being looked after, ridden, contained and domestic.
But, not so with Gumby, but happily, he must have acquired very good karma, as Jeanne is infinitely devoted and patient with him, and has allowed Gumby the time, space, resources and opportunity to proceed at his own pace. This is a HUGE lesson that horses operate on their own schedule particularly those who may have experienced any trauma can tell you, trust is not forced to happen, belief in others not just given, independence held on too tightly. Self preservation has built in hyper awareness, sensitivity, high flight drive, massive distrust and complete lack of desire to connect with a human. All of these are innately in our horses, just intensified in ‘problem’ horses, and certainly take great degrees of feel to even begin explore. Gumby was one of my pivotal horses, where I realized that I absolutely HAD to feel….where he was coming from, where he was thinking of going, how fast he was thinking, why he was thinking the way he was, how was I making him feel, and was it up to him to change, or me? He would not fit into a program or lesson plan, he had to be felt every single step of the way, or no dice. Period.

Well.

(Human step’s back, licks and chews thoughtfully…..hmm, NOW what?)
Gumby is one of the reasons I am a ‘Feel Queen’. He helped expand my awareness, my desire to become more finely and acutely tuned in, trust in myself, believe in what I felt/observed, and act upon the intuitive nudges and what simply felt ‘right’ in the moment, slow down! and the power of just being with our horses. Gumby insisted that I go in with an open heart, an open mind and no agenda. I had to be true, firm, flexible, gentle, reserved, soft beyond soft, respectful and clear. Humbling? Totally! Frustrating? Completely! There are days when I still ask for guidance with this horse as my head hits the pillow, days when i think I may have done wrong. But Today, when we end our 11/2 session with him looking like something out of a Dr. Seuss book as we trot around the property scaring the Poop out of all the other horses and he is having a BLAST doing it- just me an’ Gumby doing weird and wacky things…..together and I know it and he knows it, and we stand side by side after he is back in his pen with Nash and neither of us wants to leave the other, I know he has blessed me with a treasure that is only beginning to be explored.
Gumby, the Brumby……Thank You.




It has turned cold again today, and that’s a blessing. This country doesn’t do +temperatures well in winter….everything melts just that little bit, then freezes and teaching horses to ice skate is not really in my lesson plan! So seeing the sun out, and -12 made us all do the happy dance, and get one last day of riding in before I have, er, get to go down to the Island for Christmas with family and friends…….
So away we go, gleefully wreaking the pristine, unplowed road, the dogs and Carson make a game out of how many times they can criss-cross, all the while playing horse try to catch dog as their paths cross. This game continues until we ease thru the slip wire and into the big field and on up the hill. We choose a less steep incline, in respect to the questionable footing, and I start to play my game. ‘Feel Carson’ is a game I have been playing for a few weeks now, and its rules are simple. Slow down and ask as subtly as possible, usually just where I look now, and just be with him. For his part, Carson is good at the game, and is very clear when I have asked to strongly/rudely/coarsely, the head comes up, stride gets short, breathing accelerates, champing or worse, grinding his teeth. Before you get to thinking I am a complete knuckle-head, this happens very quickly if you are a chestnut gelding with diagonal white socks and your name is Carson. This actually makes the makes the game very fun and I get to increase my awareness of my riding, his slightest tries, where he is looking, where I am looking( sometimes I drift off, thinking about inane human things, and he will drive us straight into a Pine tree, which I swear is intentional, as if to say….”Oi, Lady! look where we’re going!) We play around with energy, and ease up to a trot and I discover some tension. We keep trotting on a loose rein, with a bit of a feel for him in there as well, until there is a slight lowering of his head, and a drop my energy and weight, and he walks. Rub, Rub, Rub, and into a trot again…..and rub. This time, I am rewarded with almost an instant relaxation, a nice blow and we continue on at a trot for awhile. I really want him to find relaxation in movement, kind of just encourage him in that direction, and then let him find it for himself. I try to do as little as possible, so that I am just helping the good solution to present itself for him to find. It is so very cool to feel his skin relax, ears soften and muscles loosen and we, Carson and Stef, are just going for a ride, he enjoying it every bit as much as myself. And for me, that is the very best part- that we both win; I get to keep refining horsemanship, Carson keeps refining peoplemanship and we ride thruogh some of the worlds most spectacular scenery…..
And the dogs? They are gloriously oblivious to all of this, just happy to be alive and enjoying every minute of it. Hmmmmmmmmmm

Horse Power


I am happily in the depths of an amazing book titled ” Power vs Force”, by Dr. David Hawkins. It delves into consciousness, spirit and energy patterns, amongst other fascinating brain strains…..There is a line in there (well, LOTS of lines!) that caught my attention. See as we all know, everything reflects everything else, and of course I apply these thoughts to Horsemanship. ” A subjective sensation of slow motion, beauty, and grace is frequently noted in higher states; time seems to stop and there is an inner silence, despite the noise of the world” Boy, how many of us know that truth! For me, it is one of the multitude gifts that the horses bring. When I get so into our interaction, playing with loading into the trailer backwards,or working on advancing some certain move, or traveling out on a fine trail with the sun warming cold winter hands, or watching them zooming around icy fields, marveling that they can stay upright…. After riding Gumby and Carson out on the scant snow left, I sneak off on Indy, down around the Lower river trail, past the cattle chewing off the last of summer’s alfalfa and along the river is that is trying to freeze up. The footing’s good, and we’re sharp shod anyway, and both of us agree. We need to RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man can that horse fly! Flat out down the dirt road, blowing by the scattering calves, and over the creek and we’re flat out up the hill and headed home, as tears of bliss and ice pour down my face…and time stands still.