Tag: connection

The Muse

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

There are moments in our lives that are monumental.

Moments when we realize the true meaning of Magic and the miracle of this thing we so casually call life…………

Moments when all we can do is stand in wonder and let ourselves be overcome with emotion….

Moments of pure joy, bliss and peace…..

Moments that become memories eternal and unforgettable, every color, every smell, every word said, every feeling………….

There are moments in our lives we wish would go on forever and ever and ever….

But they don’t.


Which is why now is called the “present”. It is a Gift.

Scratch that favorite itchy spot just a liiiittle longer on your horse……….. That them out for a special walk, just eating that delectable spring grass………… Sit in the field with them allowing them to thoroughly check you out and really be with them…………. Go someplace new and exciting to walk your dog. Buy them that WAY to expensive treat…….Take your Dad a bunch of flowers and a bow of chocolates………..Fix that drippy tap your Mom has been frustrated with for so long, and then sit on her deck in the sun and share a glass of wine with her…….never hurt to bring her flowers either……. Call your Uncle living in Texas………..MAKE time to spend with friends….ok,ok….:) ALLOW yourself time to spend with friends,……and be a friend to yourself……..

Love them deeply, and when it is time……

Let them go.………

This blog is dedicated to Jeanette and Percy.
Thank you for a million treasured moments……….

The Spaces In-between.

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?…hmmmm. It is now…:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd’s ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram – a kind of consensual reality, if you will.

I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is ‘the spaces in-between…..! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and…… let’s just apply this to our horses, shall we!?

It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation……. and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet ‘them’ one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape…..) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between….. I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening…..hmmmm And what are we all so much better at?

So………………what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot….and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren’t aware of our ‘busy brain’? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks…:)? And we have the nerve to say….” Oh Blaze just isn’t connecting today!” To what! a static machine…..? There is no space for them to be sometimes.

I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That’s where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.

Allow me to expand a bit…..The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens…:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us…it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren ‘hit the wall’ with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be…..no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one day LF!)

When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace…..Magic!

Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad…. this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing – try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin’ er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.

I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen……..at least for a few moments a day.

Fun….!.It isn’t a four-letter word

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized


Lauren and I were yackin’ on the phone the other day ( something we are quite good at, truth be known…) and she was telling me about her ride the other day with a friend and how it was just a side show comedy act. The two horses were basically galloping down the trail with a vague level of direction maintained, bareback, halters and big Sugar Eatin’ Grins on their faces, laughing all the way home…I loved it! What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! No proper
flexion, probably no collection, more then likely not a shred of roundness.………….But were the horses having fun??????? And were they having fun together????? Hmmmmmmm…

I think we all to often seem to forget about actually having FUN with our horses….forgetting about ‘proper’ form and function. As well and fine as it is to have our higher horsemanship goals, places we aspire to go, and activities we participate in from showing to trail riding, I believe it is vital to just have fun and be with our horse friends in a silly, casual and non-structured way. Whether it was as Lauren and her pal were doing, madly galloping bareback, howling with laughter at the freedom of it, swimming at a great spot on the river on a HOT summer day, or maybe just sitting and hanging out with your horse, soaking up the moments of stillness and peace, without trying to make (!) anything happen…just allowing each other to be together…….


Part of the slippery deal about having fun as a grown-up is remembering how to be like a kid again and it can take a conscious effort on our part to Let Go of control, be in the Moment, let loose the child in us, Let Go of our fears, and just allow ourselves to relax! We so often want this for our horses, to relax and trust us, so imagine that! We have to be willing to do the same thing….and often we have to be the one that does it first…..

Be creative, be off the wall, be zany, be curious, be INTERESTING to yourself and your horse! Take your buddy for a walk or bike ride and actually allow them to graze to their hearts content ( ok, maybe not THAT long……:) Sitting around with your friends in the field, or in the evening at a clinic while you unwind, hanging out with your horse….and watch them become engaged with your ridiculous and highly unusual behavior…They love it! My horses and dogs share a very special relationship, and Indy and Sage totally have a rapport….they tease and taunt one another, and nuzzle and completely enjoy one another’s company. Sage will bark at Indy’s face while he is trying to catch one of her exposed body bits, both loving the game. At camps, to help people slow down and just be with their horses as well as actually allowing their horse to be the one that decides to connect, and do something completely different. I have people sit at the end of their 22ft. ropes, with their backs to the horse and……………wait. Always, always, always this is an amazing thing to do. What crazy thoughts go thru our heads, and how it teats our patience (hmmmmmm maybe it is like mediation…..) but the gift of connection it brings is sooooooooo worth it. (I also do this with the training horses, to help establish rapport and trust...both ways!) I do suggest good weather for this little experiment, or fun it may not be……

So. Maybe play (!) around with having some silly, non-structured fun……go ahead! embarss yourself! Be a silly-ass and laugh til your belly hurts! Do something so off the wall, your neighbors stare and then look the other way, the cat hinds under the stairs, the dog thinks you are the wackiest, coolest thing ever (well, he probably already does, so your off the hook there……….) and your horse just might get to thinking he wants to be with you, too. Not because you made him , but because you guys are having FUN !

And besides, its just darn near impossible to have a bad day when you lay backwards, bareback on your horse, with your arms folded across his beautiful bum, eyes closed while the rhythm of his eating lulls your worries away and peace and bliss enfold you………..

Spanish Monday

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

Monday’s are not known for there stellar qualities as a rule. They tend to suffer from a certain lack of enthusiasm and generally rate fairly low on most people’s “Favorite Day of the Week’ List, so in light of that, felt that it was pretty much my duty to throw some excitement into the most humblest day of the week. Enter……( Ta-da-da da!)…….Espada!
Espada is my 7 yr. Andalusian/ Lusitano mare and to say I adore her would be a gross under-statement. Now just glancing at her portrait at the left to us, one could be deceived into thinking she was…..plain. She has been called a few less then glamorous names,but that is part of the beauty of the Lusitano. Just standin’ around in the field....well one COULD be forgiven to think they were plain, but under saddle? No- one in their right mind would think to call that fabulous bull-fighter, ‘Merlin’ plain! And so it goes with Espada. This is a great shot to see her name sake blaze….a perfect sword, and her battle mare heritage is not far from the surface, that’s for sure. Fierce, brave, crazy sensitive and expressive, she is pure undiluted Latin passion. Espada couldn’t play Poker to save her life (even if she had opossable thumbs)….EVERYTHING is written all over her entire body what she feels and thinks. Just climbing on her back immediately glues a Big Ole Happy grin on my mug….all the flash and dash and skirt-twirling and its like I have a mariachi band following us along.
Does this make her one of the COOLEST ever horses to be with? Well, for me…. Yeah! ‘Spady and me have shared a long, long journey together, and she is truly a gift for me. How she has changed my approach to horses and horsemanship is massive, and I credit her with softening me, the value of non-resistance training…for the human, and of course feel, feel, feel…..sigh!
And today was just another chapter opening up, and I am playing with the incredibly sensitive tuning of our relationship and how vastly my body effects hers…I mean I always try to be aware of what I am doing up there, but this! This is a whole other level again! All we were doing was loose reining it along the top property, and I was steering her with my weight and focus, but if I picked up a soft feel, and played around with the muscles in my back, and tiny hip rotations, shifts in weight…everything changed. Its like having a bio-feedback machine that talks to you about atoms….molecules of change and viola! Oh Boy..this is going to be some kind of learning curve again and ups the level of awareness, responsibility, response- ability, subtly, finesse and ohhhhhh yippe! Part of me can’t wait for spring now to get going in the ring again, and faster work, but of course, everything happens in its perfect place and time and its winter. Ice and slippery ground forces me to stay slow, feel, absorb and integrate and build gradually, getting it right first, fast later. Oh, ok! It just never really ceases to amaze me who aware our horses are. How perceptive to their environment, what they are interacting with, and how they constantly adjust to every new situation. Their sensitivity is awe inspiring……and I have the nerve to believe it is me doing the training?????????????????

“Orville Wright didn’t have a pilot’s license.” Richard Tate