Tag: Lodestar

The Aftermath….

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

Well. I give one last cough and sneeze in the settling dust of the whirlwind Mane Event weekend now behind me and give pause to reflect upon it all……….

First and foremost, I would love to Thank some very special ladies for their help above and beyond….. Joan, Erin and Becca. Becca and Erin have been constants in my life since working with me as very capable apprentices and it seems I have yet to scare them off, and they still amaze me with their dedication…:) And Joan, Erin’s mom has been a source of support and friendship that is deeply appreciated as well. Joan and Erin for all the elbow grease setting up and tearing down, astute decorating tips, food, breaks and dog walking! Becca for the astonishing Scrapbook she pulled together with all those heartfelt and moving testimonials for clients as well as feedback and spring boarding ideas with me. Thank You Girls! Also EC for being such a tolerant pack horse at the end, and being gracious with a tired cowgirl… and of course, Jeanne and girls….for keeping me from sleeping on the sawdust of my trailer by going the extra mile and lending me the grand ole Kustom Koach! :)Without you guys, this whole, impromptu shenanigan would have been sooooooo much more challenging and the belief you have in me is humbling……

Next I would like to say it was an absolute blast!
Seeing old friends, new friends and meeting so many great new folks was just fabulous! This was a big stretch emotionally for me, putting myself out there so much and being proud of what I do, and seeing such positive feedback made it all ok. I have a saying that I like to stick with and it is ” Do something everyday that scares you” and boy, this sure did! It was very last minute and require alot of focus and timing, confidence and belief, and I know the person I was five years ago would never have done it which I find somewhat astounding…..hmmmmm belief in your dreams………

For all of you who stopped and said Hello, chatted and expressed interest in Training or Camps, and swapped tales with me….I sure do appreciate the time you took and your consideration. I love what I do, and am blessed to share it with interested folks like yourselves. I am passionate about ‘Do less, Feel more and be conscious’ I love everything around Feel and bridle horse development. As some of you know, I suddenly become Chatty Cathy about these topics…hahahaha!

So on that happy note, I am leaving you with this great picture of the infinitely patient dogs, who deserve every bite of the extra big welcome home supper they got!

What a team! What a weekend! What a great, great bunch of people we are, us Horse People! What a Life! 🙂

The Look on Their Face

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

Saturday night I headed to Kamloops to give my good friend Danielle a lesson and have dinner, and since her husband was on a boys ‘road trip’ picking up irrigation pipe, that left us with free rein to talk ceaselessly about horses….alas! Dan sent Larry to me a couple years ago as a just backed mature horse ( a woman never tells her real age!). And yes, Larry is a mare and a fairly accurate photo of her is at the top of the page. Well, accurate THEN. As you may be able to tell, Larry was a wee bit, er, suspicious of pretty near everything, especially us vertical beings. Difficult to catch, completely indifferent to any attempt to connect, mentally and emotionally resistant. It took awhile and some real commitment from us humans first, but Larry is a changed girl. I wish I had an operable camera ( hint, hint!) so that I could have captured her expression the last few times I have seen her. Soft, soft, soft. Comes right up to visit. Full on eye contact. Completely engaged, all cylinders firing, hi how are ya doin’. I’m Larry! Dan tells me this is Larry’s new default setting, and we got to visiting about that and she said after our clinic last weekend, that she learnt that the only thing she had to do was figure out how to keep that look on Larry’s face.

To Cool! Wow! Zoowie! and B-I-N-G-O!
How true is this! Remember horses are our feedback loop, and Dan hit on a clear barometer for herself and her horse and if she keeps this in the back of her mind as she engages with and learns from her girl, she will find her way. THIS will be her teacher, her guide and ‘Feel-meter’. If Larry glazes over, becomes difficult to catch ( and yes folks, that means if you have to look at their bum first!), tilts her head away or up, pins her ears, slashes her tail, crawls her skin…..and that is where it starts. Even less really. Brace, over or under sensitivity, buck, bolt, cinchy, bad bridler, balker, ‘disrespectful’,blah blah blah blah.

Really! Did any one ever actually take the time, invest their awareness and slow down enough to perceive the creature in front of them? Now, I am not saying we never rattle their cage so to speak, but on the other hand, there we be a whole lot less cage rattlin’ goin’ on if we all slowed down, observed what our actions were doing to cause what reaction in the horse and play around with adjusting them.

I guess here is where I will share my Short Mantra for myself and Lodestar….

Do Less……..Feel More…………Be Conscious.

What I mean by this is almost without FAIL if something is not working with your equine relationship, the answer it not to do more…..DO LESS. This will mean stopping what is obviously not working and considering the next move.

Notice I did not say think about your next step. I suggest Feeling your way. How would YOU like to be treated in the particular situation?…hmmmmmm. What are you feeling? Chances are pretty good that your horse is feeling the same darn thing. Ask again and FEEL the slightest try and quit. Sometimes this means for the moment, minute, session, week. Just like they were intelligent beings, they know how to do everything already anyway, its just doing things with us that is the tricky bit……………! If you are in doubt about trusting your feeling on when to quit and was that a small try and when does it get better…….just wait and watch. It does and will, and you will see more and feel more….:) All this becomes easier with desire to see.

Becoming conscious of what our horses are doing really just requires us to want to see it. Slow down and pay attention. Yes that ear flick was because you shifted in the saddle…just imagine what that means! Really! Try quietly, absently shift your weight in the saddle and see what happens where. Anything? Ears, body, tail, nothing? what about a leg on and one off….when you pick the reins off the neck….Now, try Less!

This is perhaps a new skill, or one that can always take more polishing and, yes with practice it becomes much more second nature and FUN! It certainly leads to more mutual understanding and connection….which leads to greater trust and relaxation…..which leads to deeper relationship and happy horse, happy human…… And the look on their faces tells it all……..

Lodestar……………….

Posted on by Stefanie in Blog

  1. a star by which one directs one’s course;
  2. a guiding principle or ideal

The original meaning of lode is “road, way”, a path that leads somewhere. Most often we use today’s word in reference to a guiding principle

1 archaic : a star that leads or guides;

I thought I would share with you how and why I came up with the name Lodestar……….

I have a dream.

And I have had this dream since I was a child, a baby, really. And in this dream, all I do is horses and art. Everything I have ever written about goals, dreams, ‘If I could do Anything”, If I won the lottery, everything has always come back to horses and art. Specifically what…..it mattered not. Sometimes I was drawing, sometimes I was training, sometimes I was healing hurt horses, inside and out, sometimes I was sculpting, sometimes I was riding in competitions, circuses, jumping, sliding, cutting, bareback, in battle, flying, sometimes I was painting, sometimes I was teaching, sometimes I was writing……………..all I know is horses and art.…..horses as art.
I have a very worn out photograph taken on a family road trip thru Merritt when I was 10 or so. It was taken overlooking the Douglas Lake Range, and I swore I would some day live there. 🙂 How actually this whole life has evolved into the creation it has is all quite a mystery to me. Sometimes I was certain I was hopelessly off the path, only to find I was not being true and had to face up and answer to myself. I am still fine-tuning the craft of my life and my belief that it really is all entirely possible.

It Is.



As time passes, and I stand here breathing, seeing, feeling and watching my dream come true I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that 3 years ago when I chose Lodestar as my name, it was because I have acquired another dream. One that has become just as insistent to be expressed and demanding in its presence. And that is to help others to NEVER, EVER, EVER give up on their dreams. Stop hiding them from ourselves, and others, letting them wither and gasp for love and light. Some are so lost deep in their people, that they do not even think they have one, but they do. And……we all really, truly do know what that dream is. Deep inside, we do.Every dream is a gift, a guiding Lodestar to our deepest selves, our true natures, our souls.It is also the thing that we are best equipped to do to give back to others with. Years and years ago I saw this quotation and it has become one of my deep beliefs.

” What we are is God’s Gift to us. What we become is our Gift to God.”

It has become part of my love of my work that I look and listen for peoples Dreams in what they say, do, or not sometimes. Usually it is so clear to me, and I oh so do want to help them believe. Believe they can, Believe they are absolutely perfect to do what it is. Believe anything is possible. Believe in themselves….just BELIEVE. The world is conspiring for us….if we will only just allow it.

I have a very detailed dream actually written down. I have done this a few times, and every time it comes true, but this one is the BIG dream. The no holds barred, no one is looking over my shoulder and saying WHAT!. It is rich, and abundant, daring and full. It is fulfilling and challenging, fun and loving. I want it all, and I want to share it, heal and rejoice with the beauty of life and the crazy, blessed carnival that it is. And I want everyone else to, too. I mean, really……….what have you got to lose?

That’s right…………………………. Everything.

I would like to dedicate this to one of my biggest teachers…..Skip Mia Bar. Mia led down the path of truth and self respect. She taught me about boundaries and knowing. She allowed me to gain confidence in my dreams and supported me even in her death……….. I miss her terribly some days, but her biggest gift of all was how to Let Go.

Thank you, My Mia, my Muse, the guide of my Lodestar…………