Why is it that the smallest things are so often the biggest things?
Like the other day with Carson. He spends his day in a (albeit large) paddock or with me, and never really gets to do his crazy leap, buck, fart and gallop madly aboutthat he is famous for. So after we had tacked and gone to the ring, I changed my mind (generally accepted behavior for a girl, after all) and stripped his work clothes off and let him have a good play. Our ring up here is surrounded on all sides by the fields with horses in them, and I was expecting him to go bonkers. Well. He DID run and Piaffe, and prance and visit with everyone quite quickly and then……….he trotted over and put his head on my chest, ignoring all his horsey buddies to be with…..me.
I was wonder struck for a couple reasons. Firstly there was NO bucking, no spirally, twisting, cavorting, just straight running and prancing. And secondly, his desire to be with me was deeply touching. This is a guy who tends towards ‘explosive’ behavior and it just wasn’t there. Very, very interesting….My sense is maybe he is like a kid after school who no longer acts out by spray painting the neighborhood, but just plays hockey with his buddies, and then heads home for dinner on time. Small little thing, but the underlying change in attitude feels huge.
Like when you realize that your horse may not be swishing his tail because he’s being rude, but because maybe YOU are being rude………
Like when regularly worked horses come to be haltered from in the field……
Like when horses sidle on over to you on their own when you get on the mounting block?
Why is it that our horses are such a direct reflexion of us?
Like when we are strugging so hard to figure them out, and why, oh why are they doing something, and how oh how can we change it? Stop, feel and look at what we are doing. Like me and Indy, say are like an old married couple ( sorry to those that are….:) that have spent all that time together and for various reasons are real easy to trigger into less then shall we say optimal behavior. And now that I am trying a different approach in our relationship, and he STILL HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! and I get all triggered back, and and and….oh….geez! What am I feeling…. resentment? ( he should know this by now) what is he feeling ….resentment!(I so DO know this, can we move on now?)hmmmm
What am I feeling?……confusion? ( oh what am I going to do if this doesn’t work, rats I forgot to get dinner out of the freezer, I thought the farrier would be here by now, I wonder if I should go back to the snaffle, oh, there goes Lynne…oh! she’s coming in here…oh dang) What is he feeling? Confusion!( Oh this move again, Hey! there’s Mango!, I think I heard Cita calling, I wonder if she remembered to pick up more hay, hey, who put that pole on the ground under that tree three fields over…)
What are you feeling? Bliss… what is he feeling? Bliss…you are both in the same place at the same time…which is now. hmmmmmm
Like when we can’t get them top pick up that darn right lead for anything and we have a sore back and go to the Chiropractor and he tells us ” Boy, are your hips ever locked up right now!’ ahhhhh
Why is it that whatever we believe to be true is?
Like when we think we are on a true path for ourselves, and feel inner guidance and strength and everything flows smoothly that day, from horses to banking to even smiling through a flat tire…?
Like when we are assailed by self doubt, evil internal tapes full of trapdoor thoughts and we allow others opinions about ourselves matter more then our own do we have terrible timing, rotten feel and inevitably the cheque bounces?( like we are having a terrible time, feel rotten and are emotionally bankrupt)? hmmmm
Why IS it that the littlest things mean the most???????
Like frogs in spring?, Like eating four pounds of hair a day as they drop the winter woolies? Like knowing dear friends feel what you are going through and are just there, having faith, trying to just allow? Like the gentle nuzzle from a horse that has never reached out before? Like just riding like my horse and I are one and allowing it to happen instead of trying to make that shoulder lift up? Like seeing a dog lick a scared, new horse’s nose? Like finding five bucks in the truck and spending it on a super yummy White Spot Milk shake….and sharing with the dogs? Like sitting down for a few minutes with the horses as they chomp away on dinner, the sounds of the gentle mastication of all that hay, slowly turning into tomorrows poo….and they gaze at you out of the sides of their eyes, wondering about you, too?
For those of you that may be wondering about the dull lack of photos….there is apparently a ‘Glitch’ in the system somewhere, but……that would be a small thing as well:)