Saturday night I headed to Kamloops to give my good friend Danielle a lesson and have dinner, and since her husband was on a boys ‘road trip’ picking up irrigation pipe, that left us with free rein to talk ceaselessly about horses….alas! 
Dan sent Larry to me a couple years ago as a just backed mature horse ( a woman never tells her real age!). And yes, Larry is a mare and a fairly accurate photo of her is at the top of the page. Well, accurate THEN. As you may be able to tell, Larry was a wee bit, er, suspicious of pretty near everything, especially us vertical beings. Difficult to catch, completely indifferent to any attempt to connect, mentally and emotionally resistant. It took awhile and some real commitment from us humans first, but Larry is a changed girl. I wish I had an operable camera ( hint, hint!) so that I could have captured her expression the last few times I have seen her. Soft, soft, soft. Comes right up to visit. Full on eye contact. Completely engaged, all cylinders firing, hi how are ya doin’. I’m Larry! Dan tells me this is Larry’s new default setting, and we got to visiting about that and she said after our clinic last weekend, that she learnt that the only thing she had to do was figure out how to keep that look on Larry’s face.
To Cool! Wow! Zoowie! and B-I-N-G-O! 
How true is this! Remember horses are our feedback loop, and Dan hit on a clear barometer for herself and her horse and if she keeps this in the back of her mind as she engages with and learns from her girl, she will find her way. THIS will be her teacher, her guide and ‘Feel-meter’. If Larry glazes over, becomes difficult to catch ( and yes folks, that means if you have to look at their bum first!), tilts her head away or up, pins her ears, slashes her tail, crawls her skin…..and that is where it starts.
Even less really. Brace, over or under sensitivity, buck, bolt, cinchy, bad bridler, balker, ‘disrespectful’,blah blah blah blah.
Really! Did any one ever actually take the time, invest their awareness and slow down enough to perceive the creature in front of them? Now, I am not saying we never rattle their cage so to speak, but on the other hand, there we be a whole lot less cage rattlin’ goin’ on if we all slowed down, observed what our actions were doing to cause what reaction in the horse and play around with adjusting them.
I guess here is where I will share my Short Mantra for myself and Lodestar….
Do Less……..Feel More…………Be Conscious. 
What I mean by this is almost without FAIL if something is not working with your equine relationship, the answer it not to do more…..DO LESS. This will mean stopping what is obviously not working and considering the next move.
Notice I did not say think about your next step. I suggest Feeling your way. How would YOU like to be treated in the particular situation?…hmmmmmm. What are you feeling? Chances are pretty good that your horse is feeling the same darn thing. Ask again and FEEL the slightest try and quit. Sometim
es this means for the moment, minute, session, week. Just like they were intelligent beings, they know how to do everything already anyway, its just doing things with us that is the tricky bit……………! If you are in doubt about trusting your feeling on when to quit and was that a small try and when does it get better…….just wait and watch. It does and will, and you will see more and feel more….:) All this becomes easier with desire to see.
Becoming conscious of what our horses are doing really just requires us to want to see it. Slow down and pay attention. Yes that ear flick was because you shifted in the saddle…just imagine what that means! Really! Try quietly, absently shift your weight in the saddle and see what happens where. Anything? Ears, body, tail, nothing? what about a leg on and one off….when you pick the reins off the neck….Now, try Less!
This is perhaps a new skill, or one that can always take more
polishing and, yes with practice it becomes much more second nature and FUN! It certainly leads to more mutual understanding and connection….which leads to greater trust and relaxation…..which leads to deeper relationship and happy horse, happy human…… And the look on their faces tells it all……..