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The Look on Their Face

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

Saturday night I headed to Kamloops to give my good friend Danielle a lesson and have dinner, and since her husband was on a boys ‘road trip’ picking up irrigation pipe, that left us with free rein to talk ceaselessly about horses….alas! Dan sent Larry to me a couple years ago as a just backed mature horse ( a woman never tells her real age!). And yes, Larry is a mare and a fairly accurate photo of her is at the top of the page. Well, accurate THEN. As you may be able to tell, Larry was a wee bit, er, suspicious of pretty near everything, especially us vertical beings. Difficult to catch, completely indifferent to any attempt to connect, mentally and emotionally resistant. It took awhile and some real commitment from us humans first, but Larry is a changed girl. I wish I had an operable camera ( hint, hint!) so that I could have captured her expression the last few times I have seen her. Soft, soft, soft. Comes right up to visit. Full on eye contact. Completely engaged, all cylinders firing, hi how are ya doin’. I’m Larry! Dan tells me this is Larry’s new default setting, and we got to visiting about that and she said after our clinic last weekend, that she learnt that the only thing she had to do was figure out how to keep that look on Larry’s face.

To Cool! Wow! Zoowie! and B-I-N-G-O!
How true is this! Remember horses are our feedback loop, and Dan hit on a clear barometer for herself and her horse and if she keeps this in the back of her mind as she engages with and learns from her girl, she will find her way. THIS will be her teacher, her guide and ‘Feel-meter’. If Larry glazes over, becomes difficult to catch ( and yes folks, that means if you have to look at their bum first!), tilts her head away or up, pins her ears, slashes her tail, crawls her skin…..and that is where it starts. Even less really. Brace, over or under sensitivity, buck, bolt, cinchy, bad bridler, balker, ‘disrespectful’,blah blah blah blah.

Really! Did any one ever actually take the time, invest their awareness and slow down enough to perceive the creature in front of them? Now, I am not saying we never rattle their cage so to speak, but on the other hand, there we be a whole lot less cage rattlin’ goin’ on if we all slowed down, observed what our actions were doing to cause what reaction in the horse and play around with adjusting them.

I guess here is where I will share my Short Mantra for myself and Lodestar….

Do Less……..Feel More…………Be Conscious.

What I mean by this is almost without FAIL if something is not working with your equine relationship, the answer it not to do more…..DO LESS. This will mean stopping what is obviously not working and considering the next move.

Notice I did not say think about your next step. I suggest Feeling your way. How would YOU like to be treated in the particular situation?…hmmmmmm. What are you feeling? Chances are pretty good that your horse is feeling the same darn thing. Ask again and FEEL the slightest try and quit. Sometimes this means for the moment, minute, session, week. Just like they were intelligent beings, they know how to do everything already anyway, its just doing things with us that is the tricky bit……………! If you are in doubt about trusting your feeling on when to quit and was that a small try and when does it get better…….just wait and watch. It does and will, and you will see more and feel more….:) All this becomes easier with desire to see.

Becoming conscious of what our horses are doing really just requires us to want to see it. Slow down and pay attention. Yes that ear flick was because you shifted in the saddle…just imagine what that means! Really! Try quietly, absently shift your weight in the saddle and see what happens where. Anything? Ears, body, tail, nothing? what about a leg on and one off….when you pick the reins off the neck….Now, try Less!

This is perhaps a new skill, or one that can always take more polishing and, yes with practice it becomes much more second nature and FUN! It certainly leads to more mutual understanding and connection….which leads to greater trust and relaxation…..which leads to deeper relationship and happy horse, happy human…… And the look on their faces tells it all……..

The Muse

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

There are moments in our lives that are monumental.

Moments when we realize the true meaning of Magic and the miracle of this thing we so casually call life…………

Moments when all we can do is stand in wonder and let ourselves be overcome with emotion….

Moments of pure joy, bliss and peace…..

Moments that become memories eternal and unforgettable, every color, every smell, every word said, every feeling………….

There are moments in our lives we wish would go on forever and ever and ever….

But they don’t.


Which is why now is called the “present”. It is a Gift.

Scratch that favorite itchy spot just a liiiittle longer on your horse……….. That them out for a special walk, just eating that delectable spring grass………… Sit in the field with them allowing them to thoroughly check you out and really be with them…………. Go someplace new and exciting to walk your dog. Buy them that WAY to expensive treat…….Take your Dad a bunch of flowers and a bow of chocolates………..Fix that drippy tap your Mom has been frustrated with for so long, and then sit on her deck in the sun and share a glass of wine with her…….never hurt to bring her flowers either……. Call your Uncle living in Texas………..MAKE time to spend with friends….ok,ok….:) ALLOW yourself time to spend with friends,……and be a friend to yourself……..

Love them deeply, and when it is time……

Let them go.………

This blog is dedicated to Jeanette and Percy.
Thank you for a million treasured moments……….

The Spaces In-between.

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?…hmmmm. It is now…:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd’s ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram – a kind of consensual reality, if you will.

I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is ‘the spaces in-between…..! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and…… let’s just apply this to our horses, shall we!?

It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation……. and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet ‘them’ one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape…..) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between….. I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening…..hmmmm And what are we all so much better at?

So………………what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot….and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren’t aware of our ‘busy brain’? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks…:)? And we have the nerve to say….” Oh Blaze just isn’t connecting today!” To what! a static machine…..? There is no space for them to be sometimes.

I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That’s where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.

Allow me to expand a bit…..The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens…:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us…it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren ‘hit the wall’ with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be…..no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one day LF!)

When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace…..Magic!

Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad…. this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing – try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin’ er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.

I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen……..at least for a few moments a day.

Dedication…

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

” Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
St. Francis of Assisi

For so long in my life, I had always felt a much stronger connection to animals then humans. I felt safe with them, free and understood. Humans were much more challenging to relate to, and to be honest, I felt very little desire to even try to have a deeper connection and relationship with them. ” I am an animal person” was firmly my belief. So for me it was easy to quit everything on the Island, and move up to a Ranch in the middle of nowhere really and live only with the animals….happily training away on my own.

Imagine.

Imagine my surprise when I discover the joy of sharing with other humans the wonders of their horse. When I see the love they have for them, their determination to learn, grow and challenge themselves to get it better for their horses. When I share the heart ache of fear, indecision, self-doubt and lack of confidence (in themselves, their horses and in their horses) When folks make the supreme effort to just “show-up” in life, with their horses and up here, 100’s of miles from home and offer up the dedication and sometimes fragile belief in their choice to continue with their horse and a horse dream. I became humbled, and surrounded with a depth of feeling that really allowed me to accept the inevitable truth…….I am a ‘people person’ AND an ‘animal person’ and really, they are the exact same thing, linked by an unfathomable desire to grow, love and face the very things that can scare the $#@*& out of us and be able to receive the immense gift that that will bring. Imagine……. I want to share with you an e-mail that Angela sent a couple days ago, because it really sums up the courage and desire never to give up on a dream and the rich rewards that are just awaitin’ us to find them. Angela and Ace have been together for 9 years, and I first met Ace as a pale, cheeky weanling in Metchosin. Angela had high hopes and skills enough to set the stage for a great partnership, but as life would have it, Life happened. Marriage, kids, homes and all the rest put Ace on the back burner…never given up on, yet still barely started and then……

An all to frequent story with often a much sadder ending of a dream forgotten.

But Ace ( cheeky, clever devil that he is) apparently took matters into his own hands ,er, hooves and fixed a deal with the Universe and set a chain of events into process that led to his coming to me for 3 months and Angela for a week….. he has been home since fall and well, it has still be a journey of finding time for self and the inevitable green horse dilemmas, but Angela and Ace are well over the ‘hump’ and on their way…. Enjoy…:) And Thanks for permission to share this great story Ang!

So Mr.Ace and I went for a ride. It has been well over a month and I told him each day “on Sunday, it is our day” Sunday came and he was ready, snuggly and following me like a puppy. Funny how they know. We tacked up (saddling… arggh) took the bit like a carrot and we were off. I kept him between my legs, and 15 mins in we came across some hikers I knew. He stood, square and still for 15 mins while we talked only gently nosing a kid once for attention. We had our picture taken a few times, he was oohed and ahhhed over and on we went. What a gentleman. I heard some motors, that were not being “normal so off we go to investigate… a couple of quads trying to get under a fallen tree. PERFECT! lets go see the scary stuff! We wove in between the running quads, struggling helmeted guys and wiggling tree to go and step over the low end of the tree , oh -one spook- you are fine, on he goes past the other running quad and up the trail (suckers!). The they caught up (I had no intention on going up this trail but since they “let me go first” instead of standing there staring at them I carried on. They then came up behind and passed me on the narrow trail. Not even an ear flick as they rode by close enough to touch. Awesome! Okay they are gone lets go find more! Found a couple of LOUD dirt bikes tearing down the trail, Monte ( the dog)was ahead to slow them down (safety crew!) and before they could shut it down I walked by the first, then by the second shut off one (why is he shut off, not sure!… it’s okay I am here. Walk on) After passing he fired it up and opened the throttle BLAH…BLAH! Whatever 😉 Nice ride, center of trail, puddles easy… ahhhh this is the life. A couple of dart up the hill (on the way HOME, with me having to pick up the reins -oh yah reins?!) When we got back we even did a trot up the top driveway relaxed and nice. My fears addressed: trotting and encountering bikes. He is such a trooper and so connected. I have made it an appointment each Sunday we go out, anything else is a bonus. Rain or shine, we beat the rain this time, but I had my oilskin done up like a bedroll on the back of my saddle just in case 😉 a good ride after a month + off?! Willing and soft?! I imagine summer when nights are light and we can get out more how great he will be 🙂 It is my solace, my stress relief when all seems hopeless, my meditation…….

For all of you who have had the courage and faith to never quit yourselves or your horses. Those who have been assailed by nay sayers and negative self talk tapes and done it anyway. Those who just kept trying, found another way, gave it their best shot when everything else said to find another passion or horse or be ‘sensible’! For all those that have passed through my life and enriched it it with your presence and strength……..Thank you.

As Buck Brannaman would say…………’And you know who you are!’*)