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Why is it ?

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

Why is it that the smallest things are so often the biggest things?

Like the other day with Carson. He spends his day in a (albeit large) paddock or with me, and never really gets to do his crazy leap, buck, fart and gallop madly aboutthat he is famous for. So after we had tacked and gone to the ring, I changed my mind (generally accepted behavior for a girl, after all) and stripped his work clothes off and let him have a good play. Our ring up here is surrounded on all sides by the fields with horses in them, and I was expecting him to go bonkers. Well. He DID run and Piaffe, and prance and visit with everyone quite quickly and then……….he trotted over and put his head on my chest, ignoring all his horsey buddies to be with…..me.
I was wonder struck for a couple reasons. Firstly there was NO bucking, no spirally, twisting, cavorting, just straight running and prancing. And secondly, his desire to be with me was deeply touching. This is a guy who tends towards ‘explosive’ behavior and it just wasn’t there. Very, very interesting….My sense is maybe he is like a kid after school who no longer acts out by spray painting the neighborhood, but just plays hockey with his buddies, and then heads home for dinner on time. Small little thing, but the underlying change in attitude feels huge.

Like when you realize that your horse may not be swishing his tail because he’s being rude, but because maybe YOU are being rude………

Like when regularly worked horses come to be haltered from in the field……

Like when horses sidle on over to you on their own when you get on the mounting block?

Why is it that our horses are such a direct reflexion of us?

Like when we are strugging so hard to figure them out, and why, oh why are they doing something, and how oh how can we change it? Stop, feel and look at what we are doing. Like me and Indy, say are like an old married couple ( sorry to those that are….:) that have spent all that time together and for various reasons are real easy to trigger into less then shall we say optimal behavior. And now that I am trying a different approach in our relationship, and he STILL HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! and I get all triggered back, and and and….oh….geez! What am I feeling…. resentment? ( he should know this by now) what is he feeling ….resentment!(I so DO know this, can we move on now?)hmmmm
What am I feeling?……confusion? ( oh what am I going to do if this doesn’t work, rats I forgot to get dinner out of the freezer, I thought the farrier would be here by now, I wonder if I should go back to the snaffle, oh, there goes Lynne…oh! she’s coming in here…oh dang) What is he feeling? Confusion!( Oh this move again, Hey! there’s Mango!, I think I heard Cita calling, I wonder if she remembered to pick up more hay, hey, who put that pole on the ground under that tree three fields over…)
What are you feeling? Bliss… what is he feeling? Bliss…you are both in the same place at the same time…which is now. hmmmmmm

Like when we can’t get them top pick up that darn right lead for anything and we have a sore back and go to the Chiropractor and he tells us ” Boy, are your hips ever locked up right now!’ ahhhhh

Why is it that whatever we believe to be true is?

Like when we think we are on a true path for ourselves, and feel inner guidance and strength and everything flows smoothly that day, from horses to banking to even smiling through a flat tire…?

Like when we are assailed by self doubt, evil internal tapes full of trapdoor thoughts and we allow others opinions about ourselves matter more then our own do we have terrible timing, rotten feel and inevitably the cheque bounces?( like we are having a terrible time, feel rotten and are emotionally bankrupt)? hmmmm

Why IS it that the littlest things mean the most???????

Like frogs in spring?, Like eating four pounds of hair a day as they drop the winter woolies? Like knowing dear friends feel what you are going through and are just there, having faith, trying to just allow? Like the gentle nuzzle from a horse that has never reached out before? Like just riding like my horse and I are one and allowing it to happen instead of trying to make that shoulder lift up? Like seeing a dog lick a scared, new horse’s nose? Like finding five bucks in the truck and spending it on a super yummy White Spot Milk shake….and sharing with the dogs? Like sitting down for a few minutes with the horses as they chomp away on dinner, the sounds of the gentle mastication of all that hay, slowly turning into tomorrows poo….and they gaze at you out of the sides of their eyes, wondering about you, too?

For those of you that may be wondering about the dull lack of photos….there is apparently a ‘Glitch’ in the system somewhere, but……that would be a small thing as well:)

Fun….!.It isn’t a four-letter word

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized


Lauren and I were yackin’ on the phone the other day ( something we are quite good at, truth be known…) and she was telling me about her ride the other day with a friend and how it was just a side show comedy act. The two horses were basically galloping down the trail with a vague level of direction maintained, bareback, halters and big Sugar Eatin’ Grins on their faces, laughing all the way home…I loved it! What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! No proper
flexion, probably no collection, more then likely not a shred of roundness.………….But were the horses having fun??????? And were they having fun together????? Hmmmmmmm…

I think we all to often seem to forget about actually having FUN with our horses….forgetting about ‘proper’ form and function. As well and fine as it is to have our higher horsemanship goals, places we aspire to go, and activities we participate in from showing to trail riding, I believe it is vital to just have fun and be with our horse friends in a silly, casual and non-structured way. Whether it was as Lauren and her pal were doing, madly galloping bareback, howling with laughter at the freedom of it, swimming at a great spot on the river on a HOT summer day, or maybe just sitting and hanging out with your horse, soaking up the moments of stillness and peace, without trying to make (!) anything happen…just allowing each other to be together…….


Part of the slippery deal about having fun as a grown-up is remembering how to be like a kid again and it can take a conscious effort on our part to Let Go of control, be in the Moment, let loose the child in us, Let Go of our fears, and just allow ourselves to relax! We so often want this for our horses, to relax and trust us, so imagine that! We have to be willing to do the same thing….and often we have to be the one that does it first…..

Be creative, be off the wall, be zany, be curious, be INTERESTING to yourself and your horse! Take your buddy for a walk or bike ride and actually allow them to graze to their hearts content ( ok, maybe not THAT long……:) Sitting around with your friends in the field, or in the evening at a clinic while you unwind, hanging out with your horse….and watch them become engaged with your ridiculous and highly unusual behavior…They love it! My horses and dogs share a very special relationship, and Indy and Sage totally have a rapport….they tease and taunt one another, and nuzzle and completely enjoy one another’s company. Sage will bark at Indy’s face while he is trying to catch one of her exposed body bits, both loving the game. At camps, to help people slow down and just be with their horses as well as actually allowing their horse to be the one that decides to connect, and do something completely different. I have people sit at the end of their 22ft. ropes, with their backs to the horse and……………wait. Always, always, always this is an amazing thing to do. What crazy thoughts go thru our heads, and how it teats our patience (hmmmmmm maybe it is like mediation…..) but the gift of connection it brings is sooooooooo worth it. (I also do this with the training horses, to help establish rapport and trust...both ways!) I do suggest good weather for this little experiment, or fun it may not be……

So. Maybe play (!) around with having some silly, non-structured fun……go ahead! embarss yourself! Be a silly-ass and laugh til your belly hurts! Do something so off the wall, your neighbors stare and then look the other way, the cat hinds under the stairs, the dog thinks you are the wackiest, coolest thing ever (well, he probably already does, so your off the hook there……….) and your horse just might get to thinking he wants to be with you, too. Not because you made him , but because you guys are having FUN !

And besides, its just darn near impossible to have a bad day when you lay backwards, bareback on your horse, with your arms folded across his beautiful bum, eyes closed while the rhythm of his eating lulls your worries away and peace and bliss enfold you………..

Rope on a Hope

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized


I am busy enjoying the last couple of weeks before a fresh crew of training horses descend upon us, riding my beasties as much as possible, and the weather just makes it oh so easy to do as well. Truth be known, some of it is avoiding vacuuming, dusting, and paperwork, but I am forced to wait for a rainy/snowy day, and alas, it’s been weeks since that’s happened (ok…no one visit me right now, or I WILL be forced to bung out the house:) The bottom field of my neighbor’s the Stolfus’s is drying out enough that we can ride in there, and since this is where the small group of runty calves over wintered and they have (unbeknowst to them) donated their little brown bodies to furthering the education of cattle work to us all, I have jumped at the opportunity to do just that. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how to work cattle and take pictures, so these photos are older, some at Quilchena, some at Kuiper’s.
A couple days ago, after an amazing short ride in the ring, Ivy and I headed down the hill to try her out following and being in with the calves. The dogs of course have hedged their bets and opted to (wisely) stay on the outside of the pen, away from what obviously are large, fang-toothed and drooling critters with a weakness for Dane steak. (have I ever mentioned that my dogs are a wee bit, er, Cautious?) Ivy on the other hand is thrilled to be actually inside the pen with those weak kneed, doe eyed fraidy cats, and heads them down the fence line like an ole pro. Two slackers hung back, and then scooted up behind us, normally a sure way to spook a green horse, but not Miss Ivy. Stop, rollback and scoop up the two and then lope out to stop the mob from heading into the creek. Tail them back where we started, and stop and settle. Back off and head home, Ivy all puffed up and proud, blowing and low necked…her price tag sky-rocketing as I sit on her, awed and smiling from ear to ear….What a Gal!

And then yesterday was Indy’s turn……all the talk about how he would make a fabulous rope horse, all big and stout like he is, an me packin’ my 50ft. rope everywhere, catching weeds, logs, dogs and fence posts finally have to step up to the plate and catch a live critter……Gulp! Now as the universe is always conspiroring for me, I had just finshed tacking up when the Stolfus family rode by and Wendall cruised up and asked if I had my rope horse ready…’yep, sure do’ ( Oh crap! there is no escape!) and away we went. Wendall and Leanne have been doing this for a living for, well, a long time. Their two girls, Madi and Reese were raised up in cow camps at Douglas Lake and Stump Lake, and are serious contenders in cutting and rodeo competitions, and are no stranger to cattle work. So Wendall catchs up our first victim with a nice head/front leg shot and settles the critter til it is standing quietly, weighing out her options of escape. Fortunately for her, neither of us are serios threats to her having those hind legs snatched out from under her. Madi goes first, which is perfect. This gives me plenty of time to feel me ego squirming around, self-concious fears, pride ( I am a HORSE TRAINER, I ought to know this, right?) and shyness all scrambling for attention. Well. I hear them all, but the opportunity is just to cool, and if I have learnt anything over the last few years, it is how to ignore my egoic fears; allow them to get stomped in the mud and gore of learning something incredibly cool and new, and watching how my soul grows out of the decayed mush of my ego……(sorry, bit dramatic, but, essentially, you get the picture). Sooooooooooo now is my turn. Happily, I can no longer even build a loop, forgotten the terms for the rope (oh!, right! THAT”S my slack…) and Indy has turned into a blowing, high tailed Arab, who has never seen a cow before ( well, never seen a cow on the end of a fishing line before!) and is adding to the entertainment value by trying to leave me to my crazy shenanigans alone. Wendall is a great teacher, never citicizing or laughing (out loud, anyway……..) and we get things sorted, Indy tracking up proper, one reprimand for biting (2 demerrits) and soon I am twirlin’ and aimin’ for a set of moving back legs and wondering how it is even possible to do this and why do some people make some things look just so easy and oh, its Madi’s turn again. Watching her style and Wendall’s tips to her about follow thru and hand position, then me again. Realizing that I am throwing my rope like a girl (!) and this is sorta because, gee, what happens when I actually catch something….and ….suddenly I do! Both hind legs in a snappy little trap shot, and I dally (thumbs up, brother!) and back my boy up. He is an ole pro! And oh, Wendall is telling me not to stretch her out, and get that dang rope off her and try it again, this time with more finesse. I get her again! Wow! Nothin’ like some positive action to suddenly change your outlook on things!
Madi’s go again, then me, and we catch her again…just on leg this time, and for fun I dally backwards, and of course Wendall sees (cowboys see everything!0 and laughs and says other way…..
And so it ends.
Am I proud of my big roan horse? Hell Yeah! He is keen, keen, keen, works with me, figures out his job just like that, those turnarounds we’ve been working on getting speed up on? He just about lost me twice he spun so fast!He stayed ultra soft and obedient, yet totally connected. All in all, humbling yet totally positive feedback on everything we are trying to accomplish and experience. I love having that real work with our horses, it bring out the best (and sometimes worst!) in us…. As we split up at the gate and head our separate ways home, Sage and Griffin demanding for a complete description of what the heck we were doing, Sage barking at Indy, giving him what for, and my happy little family wanders home under blue skies and a plan for practice roping sawhorses…….hmmmmm

La Vida Cita y La Traileria

Posted on by Stefanie in Uncategorized

With that ridiculous sunshine and warm weather out, making the horses drop their hair like there is no tomorrow, ice melting under the frozen poopsicles so I can finally pick up all 43 loads of it out of the fields, new training horses and feet to trim, and riding, riding, riding, I have been a wee bit slack about posting a new blog (as some of my more drill sergeanty type friends have pointed out..hahahaha)
So, since sleep is optional and surely the dogs get enough for all of us, I am going to share a nice little ‘Allow’ story with you. This is Cita. For those who don’t yet know my future diamond, she is 1/2 arab 1/2 Quarter horse, almost 2, and just beginning her next phase of education. And, like most most teenagers (or so I am told) she can have some pretty cheeky moments and others when she is real unsure of herself and runs back to Mommy Indy (much to his dismay, sooooo bad for his Ultra Cool Guy Image!) We have been playing around, refreshing her ground skills, and adding some new ones. Its funny to watch the herd watch us work, they are all so very interested and concerned that I get it right (yeah, no pressure, guys, thanks!) Mostly though, Cita thinks this is pretty ok, and is happy to be growing up and doing big Kid Stuff. I had her out and was brushing the mud off, and attacking her with the spray bottle, trying to squirt Toxic Palomino Death Juice on her...no! Wait! That’s just mane de-tangler! Oh, ok, go ahead……, picking feet (cause that what us Farrier type folks do once every six months, weather they need it or not), and getting in some good positive tying practice. (Oh! remind me to expand ad naseum on tying on day, and I will). And…….one of the all time Favorite things to Avoid Until the VEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRYYYY Last minute…The Trailer!

Happily and (not so) oddly enough, right after my little awareness kick on Allow, I am presented with one of the most triggering of all horsey related situations, designed, not as you may think, too haul your horse around in, but to bring out all the very worst traits and habits and truths in both horse and human. Here we have the opportunity to really get tight and tense, impatient and all pressurey. ” Make the outside uncomfortable, and the inside the good place” ( Make?) how many times have I heard that line? So, here I am standing outside of said aluminum torture chamber on wheels, wondering how this was going to unfold. You see, Cita has no real opinion yet on a trailer (short of when she was 4 months and hauled up here from the island, but two winter’s up here will have frozen that memory outa her head) and is a clean slate. And I sure don’t want to end up ‘making’ the trailer be an issue. So what happened was this. I decided to just allow her to get in the trailer.

Allow her all the time in the world. Allow her to just stand here and fall asleep while I brushed her with her nose in the trailer. Allow her to check it all out. Allow her to scoot backwards as she made the bum bar rattle. Allow her to paw the ground. Allow her to fall asleep for 5 minutes. (Gee, says human….wonder if I ought to be making (!) her do something now, dozing can’t be getting us closer to in…hmmmmm I should be doing something…hmmmm). Allow her to put a foot in and bring it out. allow her to go for a short walk around the patio furniture. Allow her to put two feet in. Allow her to rattle the barriers….and NOT come out this time, brave girl. Allow another calm back out and wander around the lawn furniture…… And allow her to just get all the way in, blow and happily take a mouth full of hay, calmly looking back at me standing outside the trailer door. Allow her to calmly BACK out and go for another stroll, and right back in.

Total length of Trailer Loading time? 13 minutes. hmmmmmmmm very interesting. All that was required of me was… presence, patience, softness, awareness, and feel.

I was so curious with MYSELF thru this process, as I wasn’t really sure that she was knowing what I was looking for (duh!) as she seemed almost disinterested, but, oh, she knew! So hard to not want to get in there and get all busy and make (ah) something happen! I also became aware of just how little we need to do to make our requests clear, and how often we screw it all up by just doing TO MUCH! When I asked her to move, I literally lifted my hand an inch, and quit as she went “Yes?’ So everything was just so small and relaxed and low key… what a neat experience, and another level again of just how subtle we can communicate. If we just get out of the way, they find the way we have shown……………easily, calmly, confidently and together we allow one another respect.